Today's Tax Day. Hopefully you knew that already. If not, better take care of that, but before you do, check out these five spots hooking your newly broke self with money-saving dining and drinking deals that'll help ease the pain of having no more money. Also free of charge: five Tax Day factoids you can casually drop in between bites of deliciously discounted burgers. The Location: Lottie's Pub (1925 W Cortland St; Bucktown) What You're Getting and How You're Getting It: The nearly 80yr-old institution has learned a thing or two about good value and being clever with numbers, hooking you up with a meaty burger and a draft beer for a measly $4.15. What You're Telling Your Fellow Patrons to Impress Them: The first known system of taxation happened in Ancient Egypt around 3000 BC when peasants were forced to either give a fifth of their grain to the Pharaoh, or work as forced laborers if they couldn't get in on the grain train. The Location: The Florentine (151 W. Adams St; The Loop) What You're Getting and How You're Getting It: If you need a drink, this Italian haunt has you covered no matter what your style is, taking half-off all their beer, wine (both glass & bottle), and cocktails like the Templeton Rye/ Carpano Antica/ Amaro/ cherry liqueur Life Is Beautiful, enough of which'll have you acting crazier than Roberto Benigni. What You're Saying to the First Bearded Guy (or Lady) You See: Russian monarch Peter the Great taxed beards. And also souls and chimneys and basements. The Location: Emporium Arcade Bar (1366 N Milwaukee Ave; Wicker Park) What You're Getting and How You're Getting It: For each one of their top-notch craft brews you buy, they'll hook you up with a little entertainment in the form of four tokens, aka an entire game of NBA Jam. If, for whatever odd reason, you're just there to drink, they'll take the buck outta your beer instead. Weirdo. What You're Telling the Guy Who Just Beat Your Asteroids Score: The IRS mails out eight billion pages of instructions and tax forms each year, or 300,000 trees. Captain Planet would freak the eff out. The Location: Pl-zen (1519 W 18th st; Pilsen) What You're Getting and How You're Getting It: Feel like wild boar meatballs? Scallop burgers? Some Left Hand Milk Stout? MORE wild boar meatballs? Whatever you're having, the underground Pilsen gem's knocking 25% off your entire bill. What You're Saying to Make Sure No One Thinks You're Boar-ing: The first electronic filing of a tax return happened on January 24, 1986. By a NERD. The Location: Cactus Bar & Grill (404 S Wells St; The Loop) What You're Getting and How You're Getting It: If you prefer consuming burgers in bulk, the Loop spot's serving up $1 sliders, knocking all its craft brews down to $4, and, no matter what you get, they won't charge you any tax (be cool and don't tell the IRS). What You're Telling People That Reminds Them of Michael Jordan's Enduring Awesomeness: In 1991, after the Bulls beat the Lakers in the NBA Finals, California levied the so-called "jock tax" on players from Chicago earning income in their state. Also known as the "poor loser tax".