Food & Drink

Tabletop tequila taps and bartop dancing waitresses

Waitresses at El Hefe

The fuego-hot waitstaff of El Hefe Super Macho Taqueria would like to welcome you to a land where Cinco de Mayo never ends and tequila, piñatas, and graffitied statues of the Virgin of Guadalupe abound. And you probably won’t mind if their Coyote Ugly-esque bartop dancing obscures your view of one of the 20 flatscreens.

El Hefe in River North

The 140-seat taqueria's front window retracts into an outdoor awning via a magnetic pulley system, while inside, the tables are equipped with custom-made table taps. An iPad at each table calculates how many ounces have been poured of beer, Cabo Wabo, Ciroc, or Jameson. If you think having an endless stream of tequila at your fingertips is a bad idea, just have some tequila and you'll quickly reconsider.

Salty Chihuahua at El Hefe in River North

If you prefer a finite amount of tequila, there’s a lengthy marg menu that includes this Salty Chihuahua (agave nectar, lime, jalapenos, ginger beer, and a chili-flaked rim).

Bulldog-garita at El Hefe in River North

If 1995 Royal Rumble runner-up The British Bulldog were still around (RIP Davey Boy Smith), he'd undoubtedly crush this Bulldog-garita: 32oz of marg with a Corona planted inside. The 64 oz Macho Garita is probably a job for Macho Man Randy Savage. Wait, he's dead too?! Well then, a job for an hombre like Eddie Guerrero... oh, he’s also dead? Well, it’s the certainly the right size for Yokuzuna. Dead too…. just enjoy the margarita and don’t ever become a pro wrestler.

Camarone ceviche tostadas at El Hefe in River North

The menu's composed of elevated street food, starting with apps like these camarone ceviche tostadas with grilled shrimp, pears, black beans, and Baja slaw, for when it's time to let the dogs out.

Tacos at El Hefe in River North

They're doing seven types of tacos include these chicken tinga (chorizo, jicama relish, mango, passion fruit salsa), carne asada (pickled cabbage, pico de gallo, queso fresco) and camarones (grilled shrimp w/ sweet onion, bell pepper, and coconut slaw), plus further options like duck carnitas and beef cheek.

Hefe hamburguesa at El Hefe in River North

Or openly defy the overlords at Taco Bell and think inside the bun with the Hefe hamburguesa topped with grilled peppers, onions, jalapeno marmalade, queso, and chipotle mayo.

Carlos Estavez at El Hefe in River North

Rounding out los libations are 10 beers on tap and a Chuperita shot bar with 42 provocatively-named shots that sound like the “best of” Urban Dictionary entries: Justin My Cullo, Citron My Face, and other classiness to prepare you for more dubious decisions than Charlie Sheen aka Carlos Estevez aka this extra-sour strawberry-kicked marg.