Producing a western's an arduous affair -- in that 3:10 to Yuma remake, they had to build authentic sets, design appropriate costumes, find a really old train, and come up with one scary thing for each cast member to think of so they wouldn't laugh when the bad guy came out, and it was Luke Wilson. For a tastier historical epic, check out the Cosmopolitan Hotel & Restaurant. Because history is fun, the Cosmo's new proprietor teamed up with an actual historian to supervise a complete restoration of the hotel's 1869 appearance, including an eating- & drinking-minded 1st floor now impressively outfitted with: period-dressed staff, hand-painted faux-wood doors (a sign of affluence!), overhangs painted in period-rare blue paint, a front saloon boasting a circa-1850 bar (reclaimed from a Tombstone hotel) and an 1855 half-grand piano, and a back bar in what was originally the general store (sadly you'll still have to go elsewhere for your cocaine tinctures). Relying on ingredients that were then prevalent in SD, the menu trots out Oysters on the Half (w/ shaved tequila ice & cilantro), Olive Oil Poached Halibut (w/ asparagus, morel mushroom fondue, charred green onion pesto), and a roasted garlic-buttered 16oz Aged Meyer Ranch Ribeye with créme fraiche, creamed spinach, and Maui onions rings; they're also roasting a whole pig daily and serving every part from snout to tail, which men chase when they want a Babe. The back bar's slinging revolving drafts, 40+ whiskeys, and a healthy selection of wines, while the front's mixing cocktails using 1869-apropos spirits & ingredients, orderable old-timey style by first selecting a booze, then a preparation (fizz, sour, etc); or go with the brandy or rum/sweet fruit oils/pressed citrus "Uncle Toby's Punch" -- which terrorists can upgrade free to the Uncle Toby's Boot in Your Ass. Prove adept at drinking brown liquor, and the "Minister of Libations" might slide you a "double top secret" VIP Whiskey Club invite. If this privileged intox leads to your needing a bed, on July 9th they're opening 10 eerily authentic guest rooms that differ from the originals only by having indoor plumbing -- forestalling an arduous trek to the outhouse by you and your historically accurate caboose.