2. Trailer Park Hillbilly Style
Bacon, fried chicken, chorizo, queso... no, I'm not trying to cast some kind of food coma spell on you. That's a bit of what you'll find on the amped-up version of Torchy's perennially popular Trailer Park taco. And though I thought this was a shoo-in for the top spot, it was only almost perfect. There was a severe lack of fried chicken happening -- mine came with only one piece that filled about half the tortilla. But even with that blatant error in taco-building mastery, this choice still reigns as runner-up.
1. Missionary-Style Green Chili
I fully expected this to be tasty, but DAMN. It's a total taco masterpiece that easily took the win, with a massive amount of tender, flavor-packed green chili pork heaped onto a double layer of tortillas. The addition of the crispy corn tortilla adds a nice crunch, and is necessary to hold this behemoth together, making the added greasiness a non-issue since there's so much juicy pork to distract you. More like a mini burrito, just one makes a respectable meal. And the fact that it's doused with Torchy's gift to humanity (creamy chipotle sauce) cements its rightful place as ruler of the secret menu.
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Molly Martin is a freelance writer in Denver, CO who's still recovering from this massive endeavor. Find out if she'll ever eat another taco again @mollydbu on Twitter and Instagram.