We had three sets of criteria in our Search for the Most America-est Hot Dog: 1) if you put it up to your ear, you'd be able to hear the faint strains of "The Star Spangled Banner", 2) Lincoln would crave it after killing vampires, and 3) you could serve it wrapped in the Bill of Rights, and no historians would even be mad
This Stretchy Ice Cream Is Made With Wine & Cheese
First, a half-pound, 10in BBQ bacon brat gets thrown on the grill. Fun fact: most dogs are split before they're grilled, but this is kept intact solely to keep the phallic shape.
A dog this American doesn't get brushed with something as pedestrian as butter. This bad boy's bun is lathered up nicely with duck fat.
Naturally, beer plays a critical role in the making of this guy: an entire can of PBR goes into the batter for the sauerkraut.
Next: he deep-fries some sauerkraut. Sorry we're not sorry, Germany.
Yet again co-opting another country's deliciousness for our own uses, they whip up a batch of Jameson apple butter and then slathered it onto the bun, the sweetness of which will "pair with the smoky and spicy picante flavors of the brat".
Right after the dog gets gently placed on the bun, huge chunks of "rich, salty, herby" duck confit gets nestled right in there.
Remember that deep fried sauerkraut from earlier? It's baaaaaack, and ready to add a nice crunch to the dog, as well as a "richly sour" kick.
Lavender-herbed goat cheese? Why not.
Adding a pop of color to the proceedings is the shaved scallion. Don't worry, consuming it will not count as eating your greens for the day. The Ultimate American Hot Dog cares not for nutritional value.
This hot dog is a marvel. But with a name like "That's What She Said!" someone's gotta make some sort of dick joke...
... aaaaaand there it is. The co-creator of the dog, Lucy, poses here with the tubed meat in a slightly precarious position. What a tasty looking wiener! That's what she said.