Biscayne

Miami has plenty to offer, like opulent partying, prime restaurants, beautiful women, and the ability to drag people out of their cars to beat them ruthlessly...oh wait, that was Vice City. And now, get the food part right of Miami on the Strip, at Biscayne. A sparkling part of the $165 million sexification of the Tropicana, Biscayne lets you bask in Miami's tropically-seasoned steaks, fresh seafood, and laid-back vibe thanks to cream colored walls/banquettes/chairs, slat-wood floors, and rows of windows providing more light than you'll see the rest of your time in Vegas, especially considering your excessive-Worming-related lifetime ban from Light. Get things started with duck chorizo hash, an Atlantic Lobster salad w/ papaya, grapefruit, and pomegranate dressing, lamb eggplant tacos w/ roasted poblano jam, and conch fritters w/ avocado ahmbar aioli, not to be confused with Akbar aioli, which goes way better with the mon calamari. Real-man devouring, though, is accomplished via steaks (20oz t-bones, 16oz ribeyes, 12oz filets), lamb chops, two sizes of prime rib w/ natural pan drippings & horseradish cream, and "Sea/Air/Land" offerings like an "XXL" Kobe burger w/ crispy fries and banana leaf-wrapped mahi-mahi w/ tropical succotash, also what Sylvester will say when he eases his suffering with that trip to St. Tropez. To ensure your spirit's as euphoric as your stomach, Biscayne features a 200-strong wine list and whips up signature 'tails like the Smokey Martini (Bombay, Bowmore scotch, vermouth) and the Belvedere/OJ/tomato juice/fresh lemon juice "Bloody Jerk", also the name of anybody who dares step in front of your Zebra Cab right after you pick up the Tec-9.