An entire kitchen's worth of food, delivered

To assemble a dominant college football team, you must travel the state convincing guys you're the best fit for their future, even if you take that Alabama job, then get busted in a hotel with a stripper named Destiny and make them think maybe you're not the best fit for their future. Traveling the state recruiting a dominating team of foodstuffs: Fork Revolution

Just launched by Eat Oregon First, who scour 100 miles in all directions for a roster of unique sustainable farms to hook up with PDX restaurants, Fork's a craft-food hub for home cooks, created after friends & family started dropping by their distribution center to get what area chefs were getting (vittles, not pissed at the morning paper). How it works: after a one-time ten-bones fee, Fork e-mails a weekly list of products (with recipe suggestions for the more exotic options); shoppers then order desired quantities of group-priced (i.e., reasonable) flora and fauna by phone, and pick up at the FR warehouse minutes outside of Portland, or roughly the distance at which Hedo Turkoglu starts to hear the booing. The constantly changing inventory may include odd gourds that taste of hazelnuts, New Zealand silk-cross bunnies, milk-fed chickens whose meat's marbled with rich, creamy fat, and capons -- castrated roosters that can grow up to 40lbs from just hanging out and eating, all they have to do now that the Vienna Boys Crower no longer takes castratos

Fork's also enlisted Garibaldi fisherman "The Basque Fleet" to bring in seasonal catch; on the flipside, they'll have certain standbys (Noris Dairy organic milk, farm fresh eggs, yellow Spanish onions, German butterball potatoes) even through winter. They also plan to turn the warehouse into a supermarket-ish joint complete with browsable shelves and recipe-loaded iPads, a Destiny they hope doesn't come at too high a Price.

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