So, now that we’ve all made resolutions to go to the gym and cut down on the fatty foods (but, you know, for real this time), we thought we’d compile a rundown of the delicious, heart-clogging reasons we all needed to do that in the first place. Presenting: London’s Year In Fat 2013…
Epic Meal Time’s Harley Morenstein Hits up Dallas’ Underground Food Scene
The Bulgogi Fries The Black Heart, Camden Approximate Calorie Count: 550 The South Koreans are a pretty svelte nation, which is surprising, given that they apparently cover their fries in steak, sour cream, and kimchi. Also: why don't we do that?!
The Lobster Corn Dogs Rock Lobsta in Mahiki, Mayfair Approximate Calorie Count: 610 If you've never had a corn dog, it's basically the food they serve in the US that's responsible for how much everyone in the US weighs. Well, one of the things. These classy Mayfair versions take the most cholesterol-laden of crustaceans, wrap them in cornmeal batter, and deep fry them.
French Dip Burger Dip & Flip, Battersea Approximate Calorie Count: 651 Although you're probably already slightly fatter from just having looked at this burger, it's not even at its full calorific potential in this picture. The patty, melted cheese, secret sauce, and roast beef shavings sitting on top of it also get soaked in house-made gravy on their way to your mouth.
Fritz’ Minis The Wurst Club, The City Approximate Calorie Count: 740 One sausage in your hot dog is normal, two is fat, three is awesome. Especially if they're covered in sauerkraut, which is technically a vegetable!
The Dosant Duck & Waffle, Liverpool St Approximate Calorie Count: 800 Step 1: take a croissant (which is already 50% butter), deep fry it, then jam it full of lemon cream, and serve them two at a time. Step 2: be incredibly grateful there's an NHS.
Fried Chicken The Grafton, Kentish Town Approximate Calorie Count: 1210 During the Lucky Fried Chicken pop-up at The Grafton, you could get a 21 piece barrel of their buttermilk-fried chicken, naturally sided by gravy.
The Beef Royal The Wargrave Arms, Marylebone Approximate Calorie Count: 1251 This behemoth is loaded with short rib, bacon, cheese, onion rings, and mushrooms. Oh, and a burger.
The Margherita Homeslice, Covent Garden Approximate Calorie Count: 4215 Taking the podium based merely on its size, this sourdough number weighs in at 20in across, and yes, you can order one just to yourself. Just be warned that if you don't finish it, you'll never be able to look another pizza in the eye again.