So, now that we’ve all made resolutions to go to the gym and cut down on the fatty foods (but, you know, for real this time), we thought we’d compile a rundown of the delicious, heart-clogging reasons we all needed to do that in the first place. Presenting: London’s Year In Fat 2013…
The Lobster Corn Dogs
Rock Lobsta in Mahiki, Mayfair
Approximate Calorie Count: 610
If you've never had a corn dog, it's basically the food they serve in the US that's responsible for how much everyone in the US weighs. Well, one of the things. These classy Mayfair versions take the most cholesterol-laden of crustaceans, wrap them in cornmeal batter, and deep fry them.
French Dip Burger
Dip & Flip, Battersea
Approximate Calorie Count: 651
Although you're probably already slightly fatter from just having looked at this burger, it's not even at its full calorific potential in this picture. The patty, melted cheese, secret sauce, and roast beef shavings sitting on top of it also get soaked in house-made gravy on their way to your mouth.
Homeslice, Covent Garden
Approximate Calorie Count: 4215
Taking the podium based merely on its size, this sourdough number weighs in at 20in across, and yes, you can order one just to yourself. Just be warned that if you don't finish it, you'll never be able to look another pizza in the eye again.
1. Dip & Flip87 Battersea Rise, London
2. Rinkoff's Bakery224 Jubilee St, Stepney
3. Duck & WaffleHeron Tower, 110 Bishopsgate, London
4. Cocomaya12 Connaught St, Paddington
5. Ayres The Bakers115-125 Evelina Rd, Camberwell
6. Homeslice13 Neil's Yard, London
7. The Wargrave Arms42 Brendon St, London
8. Rock Lobsta in Mahiki1 Dover St, London
9. The Black Heart3 Greenland Place, London
10. The Wurst Club56-57 Cornhill, London
11. The Grafton20 Prince of Wales Rd, London
Whether you’re in it for the poutine or the juicy burgers, this hip Battersea joint is beloved for their ridiculously good gravy. The house-made recipe uses a slow-simmered bone-based broth with organic vegetables, and it goes with virtually everything on the menu. The beverage offerings are substantial, ranging from a rotating list of craft drafts, wines, or milkshakes (pro tip: add a shot of bourbon to the latter. You’ll thank us later).
Rinkoff's is making a rendition of the famed Cronut... and other delicious treats that you need to try!
If you're not good with heights, you might want to request a table away from the windows. This classy establishment offers an incredible view of London, 40 stories above the ground in the Heron Tower. And regardless of when your hunger pangs pop up, Duck & Waffle has you covered 24/7.
Cocomaya is a supreme pastry and chocolatier, and is worth your visit and all of your money.
A bakehouse that holds true to good, traditional pastries, as well as innovative and more-eclectic options (for those who have a wandering eye... ).
Homeslice is a Covent Garden pizzeria slinging crazy-big 'zas from a 500-degree wood-fired oven, with toppings like bone marrow, courgette & artichoke, fennel & salami, and many, many more.
With comfy sofas and wooden accents, this cozy pub might just have you passed out on one of those sofas, after sampling from their extensive single-malt whiskey list. Pair your booze with a mac n' cheese burger (that's a deep-fried cheesy mac pattie) or a pulled pork burger (a burger with porky deliciousness piled on top).
Rock Lobsta, which had previously only popped up in, well, pop-ups all over London, is now slinging their famous lobster corn dogs in Mahiki.
This South Korean bar and resto serves up an especially hearty version of fries with steak, sour cream, and kimchi, and they also pour a large variety of cold brews.
It's well-known that Germans produce the best wurst & easiest to swallow pils, so consume them together along with more meaty & wheaty Teutonic delights in a nice-smelling WC: The Wurst Club, a snug fast-casual foodery in The City.