The Top Ten things that happened in LA this month that don't involve Kobe assists

Unless your first name is "Encyclopedia" and your last name is "Brown" and your dad's name is "Chief Brown" and your mom's name is "Mrs. Brown" and your bodyguard's name is "Sally Kimball", you're not going to be able to read everything, which's why we're making things easy by cherry-picking the Top Ten Thrillist stories you totally should've read this month.