These drinks are made with PIPED-IN SMOKE

Located right in the heart of Beverly Hills, Hakkasan's a glittering, high-end Chinese restaurant that's also got locations in San Francisco, Vegas, and London -- England, not Jeremy, or it'd be telling stories of abduction while claiming to definitely, definitely not be on drugs. But once you see their silly-awesome, science-savvy drinks and fancified eats, you might think you are. So read on to find out the best way to hit it.

Kick things off with some delectable fried squid.

And booze it up with this ACTUALLY-SMOKY Negroni served tableside...

... and still smoking when it hits the glass (and your lips).

You'll move on to some dim sum: fried-ness like these Hoisin-topped duck rolls...

... steamed goodness like these pork buns...

... or these pan-seared dumplings.

Grab another drink, like this somehow-didn't-get-arrested-for-smuggling-heroin Chinese Mule.

Now you've got to work your way through the mains, like, perhaps, this grilled Chilean sea bass topped w/ fried shimeji mushrooms.

Or get all barbarian on this super-moist Mongolian-sauced beef.

Of course, you're also gonna want some starch; these hand-cut noodles are topped w/ crispy garlic.

One more drink? Sure. How 'bout a spicy mezcal-based Birds Nest Margarita?

Finish things off with this terrarium-styled dessert, which not only looks like what you got your mom for Christmas last year, but is actually full of tapioca-laced coconut pudding.