These drinks are made with PIPED-IN SMOKE

hakkasan la

Located right in the heart of Beverly Hills, Hakkasan's a glittering, high-end Chinese restaurant that's also got locations in San Francisco, Vegas, and London -- England, not Jeremy, or it'd be telling stories of abduction while claiming to definitely, definitely not be on drugs. But once you see their silly-awesome, science-savvy drinks and fancified eats, you might think you are. So read on to find out the best way to hit it.

Hakkasan, Beverly Hills
Jeff Miller

Kick things off with some delectable fried squid.

Hakkasan, Beverly Hills
Jeff Miller

And booze it up with this ACTUALLY-SMOKY Negroni served tableside...

Hakkasan, Beverly Hills
Jeff Miller

... and still smoking when it hits the glass (and your lips).

Hakkasan, Beverly Hills
Jeff Miller

You'll move on to some dim sum: fried-ness like these Hoisin-topped duck rolls...

Hakkasan, Beverly Hills
Jeff Miller

... steamed goodness like these pork buns...

Hakkasan, Beverly Hills
Jeff Miller

... or these pan-seared dumplings.

Hakkasan, Beverly Hills
Jeff Miller

Grab another drink, like this somehow-didn't-get-arrested-for-smuggling-heroin Chinese Mule.

Hakkasan, Beverly Hills
Jeff Miller

Now you've got to work your way through the mains, like, perhaps, this grilled Chilean sea bass topped w/ fried shimeji mushrooms.

Hakkasan, Beverly Hills
Jeff Miller

Or get all barbarian on this super-moist Mongolian-sauced beef.

Hakkasan, Beverly Hills
Jeff Miller

Of course, you're also gonna want some starch; these hand-cut noodles are topped w/ crispy garlic.

Hakkasan, Beverly Hills
Jeff Miller

One more drink? Sure. How 'bout a spicy mezcal-based Birds Nest Margarita?

Hakkasan, Beverly Hills
Jeff Miller

Finish things off with this terrarium-styled dessert, which not only looks like what you got your mom for Christmas last year, but is actually full of tapioca-laced coconut pudding.