These guys need to be included because, well, look at the place. That said, our co-founder has particularly strong feelings about a recent dining experience, which we've included below:
Lets overlook the slutty flash of a menu replete with truffles, a caviar section, and one devoted to $70+ "wood-fired casseroles" that actually arrived dumped out on a plate (sans the rustic iron casserole dish because "we only ordered it for one") and was really just a piece of fish. Instead consider, among the exclusively hyper-expensive items our waiter saw fit to recommend, the black foot ham, which Seaspice sells for $40/oz.
We ordered the croquettes instead as an entry-level way to get some of that same pig, so you can imagine my surprise when moments later a huge board of slick crimson ham arrived at our table in lieu of our croquettes. It might have been 3-4oz of the stuff. Was this a gift? A mistake? Our waiter was conspicuously absent.
We dined in the company of mystery and that $120-160 luxury ham trap for 20 minutes before our waiter reappeared to feign confusion regarding his felicitous mistake. How embarrassing! How $104-to-144-for-Seaspice embarrassing! Well that was the last we saw of our waiter, so when someone else brought us our check I was glad to see Seaspice protected his interests by including a modest 20% tip on all bills. What's 20% of $104-144?
When my fury at Seaspice's shameless greed had subsided, I took a moment to reflect on it in context. Surrounded as I was by an exceptional concentration of that breed of tacky assholes endemic to a certain layer of the Miami water column, I soon realized Seaspice defrauding its customers is akin to a horrifying creature of the deep who survives by devouring other horrifying creatures of the deep. My anger was as misplaced as I was. When you watch The Wire on your HBO Go and Omar rips off drug people, you don't cry for the drug people. Then again, it was more about money than meat when Omar went HAM.
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