Everywhere in the 305 to celebrate not-Mexican independence

Margarita in Miami

Bad Cinco de Mayo: sitting alone in the corner with a sombrero on your head. Good Cinco de Mayo: knowing what places have the best guac, margaritas, tequila, and waitresses, making your sombrero seem cool. Which is why we put together this list of the best places to eat and party this Sunday.Best MargaritasEl Rancho Grande314 72nd St; Miami Beach; 305.864.7404The Rancho Grande Margarita has been the cause of more “sick” days at work than the NCAA Tournament and cholera combined, and even though the beloved Lincoln Road location is no more, the spot on 72nd Street is still serving up the same delicious, enormous margs, in flavors like mango, strawberry, and classic lime. Click for more margarita madnessCraziest Taco FillingGator Grill 19236650 SW 192nd Ave; Homestead; 786.243.0620 Until those dudes from Swamp People completely sell out and start a nationwide chain restaurant, your best option for the most "Florida" taco around is Gator Grill in Homestead, where they deep fry alligator and serve it on a tortilla with cilantro cream and shredded slaw.Get those gator-filled goodies, right hereHottest Hot SauceTijuana FlatsFt. Lauderdale (three locations)Yeah, you could try one of the milder sauces at Tijuana Flats' 15-sauce hot sauce bar, like “Don’t Be a Chicken Shit”, or “Smack My Ass and Call Me Sally”. Or you could be a man and go for the “Endorphin Rush” or “Death Wish". Luckily, you can even get Death Wish to go. For more on the face-melting sauces, click hereBest GuacamoleRosa Mexicano1111 Lincoln Road; Miami Beach; 305.695.1005Rosa Mexicano isn’t the cheapest Mexican spot in town, but that’s because you don’t just get guacamole when you order it -- you get a whole damn show. The table-side guac is mashed in a traditional molcajete and comes with jalapenos that can make it pleasantly mild or borderline regrettable. Either way, it's so good you may forget about the rest of the menu.Click here for more fancy Mexican bitesBest Outdoor SpacePancho Taco at Wood Tavern2531 NW 2nd Avenue; Wynwood; 305.748.228Can you name another taco joint where you can enjoy your meal in a lucha libre ring? And, even if you can, those tacos likely aren’t served out of a gutted 1964 Mercury Commuter station wagon. And even if, somehow, miraculously, you found a place like that, it still wouldn’t be the beer-garden-y backyard of Wood Tavern in Wynwood, where you can enjoy your tacos among the latest in indie-band sticker art.If you like that sweet taco-dispensing Mercury, click hereBest NachosSalsa Fiesta2929 Biscayne Blvd; 305.400.8390Who else ought to have the best nachos in Miami than a spot that takes black beans, pico de gallo, guacamole, sour cream, melted queso blanco, and your choice of meat, then puts it all over TOSTONES? They'll do it with tortilla chips too, but the folks who brought tacos to Caracas love mixing flavors, and their nachos do it better than anyone in the city.Click here for some tasty tostones actionHottest Waitresses Tijuana Taxi Company4400 S University Dr; Davie; 954.472.5008Tijuana Taxi Company is conveniently located next to Nova Southeastern University, which not only means students can enjoy $1.89 domestic drafts all day, but also that they have a large pool of cute college girls to recruit for their all-female waitstaff, which is usually decked out in short shorts and t-shirts that aren't terribly loose.Get more deets on the babe-staurant hereBest Tequila SelectionEl Vato Tequila and Taco Bar1010 South Miami Ave; Brickell; 305.523.6449To take advantage of the 32-shot happy hour average of finance types, El Vato located themselves and their 120 different shootable tequilas smack in the center of Miami’s financial district. Plus, after sloshing back a few beers on the side, you can give them back in the coolest urinal in the city. Trust us. Learn more about this handsome tequila den, right here

Margarita at El Rancho Grande
Gator tacos at Gator Grill 192
Hot Sauces at Tijuana Flats
Guacamole at Rosa Mexicana
Exterior at Pancho Taco at Wood Tavern
Nachos at Salsa Fiesta
Hot waitresses at Tijuana Taxi Company
El Vato Tequila and Taco Bar