There're a lot of ways to prove you're a man in Miami, like... um, using your car horn to let women know they're attractive? Ok, so there are a few ways to do it, one of which is EATING A SHTON OF FOOD! So, if you're seriously ready to earn the respect of your peers and the admiration of women with your stomach, check out our rundown of Miami's five toughest eating challenges that aren't the Shula's 64oz steak, and our tips on how to get ‘em done.
Ever Heard of Pon De Ring Donuts?
The Challenge: The 30in pizza with two toppings and two 2L of soda. The Spot: Steve’s Pizza, Palmetto Bay How Long You’ve Got: 45mins What You Get: $30, a t-shirt, and your name on the wall if you finish. A polaroid of yourself on the Wall of Failure if you don’t. Tips On Getting It Done: Order light toppings like onions, pineapples, tomatoes, and mushrooms. Open the sodas immediately so they get flat while you drink them (less carbonation), and get diet ones as the sugar won’t make them as heavy.
The Challenge: Adam’s 18-Wheeler. Nine burgers, nine onion rings, 18 slices of cheese, and two whole pickles. The Spot: The Filling Station, Downtown How Long You've Got: One hour What You Get: The $31.25 value ABSOLUTELY FREE Tips On Getting It Done: Go with the meat first, then the onion rings, slurp and swallow the cheese, and force down the bread.
The Challenge: A 5lb burrito filled with your choice of meat, rice, beans, cheese, and chipotle sauce. The Spot: Sandbar Grill, Coconut Grove How Long You’ve Got: One hour What You Get: Your name on a plaque on the wall, which you can show to completely unimpressed college girls when you go there on Thursdays. Tips On Getting It Done: It looks a little like a newborn baby when they bring it out, but don’t let that stop you: Try and knock out everything but the rice first, since that’ll expand in your stomach.
The Challenge: Kiss of Death wings. You gotta eat eight of these cluckers. The Spot: Pizza Bar, South Beach How Long You’ve Got: Eight minutes What You Get: $50 Pizza Bar gift card and your picture on the Wall of Fame Tips On Getting It Done: Sure, it sounds easy, until the first bite makes you want to run over to the beach and swallow the Atlantic. It’s counter-intuitive, but that's the worst thing you can do: Drinking water will just spread the heat around your mouth more... plus, the Atlantic's mad salty, son. Try eating some bread and drinking some chocolate milk, instead.
The Challenge: The Mother Burger. 10lbs of Certified Angus Beef ® brand Prime, served with lettuce, tomato, onion, and a pickle. The Spot:Burger and Beer Joint, South Beach/Brickell How Long You’ve Got: Two hours What You Get: The $125 burger’s free if you can finish it, but they’re not covering your medical bills. Tips On Getting It Done: Be that Kobayashi guy. This is over TWICE the meat of Shula’s challenge, and not even the Burger Beast himself could pull this one off. His advice on doing this one? "Don't."