June 21st will be The Best Day of Your Life, thanks to Thrillist. Here's how you make it so
It's simple: 1) tell your boss you're not feeling "Claritin clear" and get off work, 2) download the PDF that lays out all the fun-filled stops around town, 3) make special arrangements to get a complimentary pecan roll at Hazel's for breakfast (be one of the first 15 peeps), and eat free pizza and drink gratis beer at Burch, 4) check the #BDOYL social action here, and 5) have the best day of your gosh darn life
524a: You probably don't even need to set an alarm to wake up super-early today, because it's going to be the Best Day of Your Life, and even your subconscious knows it
Asscrack of dawn: Wash your asscrack while cold-beer-hot-showering a can of Lift Bridge Farm Girl Saison because, A) it's awesome that it's in cans now and, B) you can say you started the BDOYL off in the shower with a farm girl. Early morning: Hit Urban Bean Lyndale -- the Readers' Choice for undisputed best coffee shop in Minneapolis -- for a double espresso piggy-backed by a drip, because if this day's going to be the best, its going to be a long one. Should, egads, one of the two Beans (24th/Lyndale, 32nd/Bryant) be full-up, hit the Spyhouse on Hennepin, which came in a close second. Breakfast: Properly caffeinated, cut across town and protein-up at the Readers' Choice best breakfast in Mpls: Hazel's Northeast, where the first 15 BDOYLers to show up get free pecan rolls. If things go South and Hazel's is busy, turn tail back Westward and hit the runner-up Victory 44 on your way towards Uptown/Whittier. Post-breakfast breakfast: You need a donut. Go to Glam Doll on Eat Street. That'll be two vanilla/bourbon/real apple fritters for you, you gluttonous SOB. Glam Doll basically never, ever sells out, but if they do, jump over to Mpls landmark Mel-O-Glaze on 28th Ave S and snake one of their 1ft-across raised glazes
Late a.m.: Glam Doll will make you sooooo happy, but also soooo full, so it's a good thing the Midwest's largest indoor climbing facility is right across Eat Street. Go get your belay on (on belay!) at Vertical Endeavors. Noonish: Once off-belay, if you've got a bike, hop on it and if you've got a car, hop in it and make your way South to the creek where you'll follow Minnehaha as it snakes its way to the falls. Once there, grab a Surly tallboy from Sea Salt while contemplating riding in a bourbon barrel over Minnehaha Falls. Decide to not actually ride a bourbon barrel over the falls, thereby keeping the BDOYL going.
It’s time for lunch: Back to Eat Street for
more donuts!! the beef, flank tendon, and tripe pho at Pho Tau Bay. As hole-in-the-walls go, the place ain't large, so if there’s a line, just limp down the street and get your butt in a seat at the best dern Chinese joint in town, Rainbow Chinese. Post-lunch: Call Uber or a not-busy friend, because the next stop's Canterbury Park, where you'll put some cash on the ponies, do some off-track betting, and maybe even throw down on a hand or 20 of poker… There's no way you can lose on the Best Day of Your Life. [Editor’s Note: ...There is.
5 o'clock somewhere: After a couple hours at Canterbury, you're either rolling in dough or rolling in debt… and either way you deserve a drink. On your way back into town, swing by Harriet Brewing in Longfellow for a food truck Friday on their downtown-view patio with fresh pints of Harriet's West Side Belgian or a Sol Bock. Happy hour: Hit the Uptown locale of one of the best beer bars in the Twin Cities, and also winner of the Readers’ Choice for happy hour (daily, 4-6p and 10p-12a), Republic. Score $3 craft pints, $6 Thousand Hills grass-fed beef burgers, and $5 fish tacos. If it's full-up, their original West Bank locale is no slouch. Dinnertime, homie: The Best Day of Your Life warrants eating steak for dinner… and pizza. Which's why you best jet down Hennepin and get to the underground bar/pizzeria at Burch, where we'll be waiting with some free pizza and beer... and the infamous Three Volts Beerlorean may even make an appearance. In the event that Burch is packed, shake it off and walk down Hennepin to The Lowry, which has a LaFrieda burger that will make everything all better. 831p: You'd be remiss not to jump back across the river to Northeast and spend the waning moments of this most glorious day on the epic, Mississippi-fronting patio that is Psycho Suzi's Motor Lounge where a gloriously kitschy menu of tiki drinks awaits. You'd also be remiss not to order Leilani's Fire Bowl, 48oz of flaming "booze and boozosity". Or, if you prefer a mellower vibe after this epic day, head to St. Paul and hit the Readers’ Choice-winning W.A. Frost's serene cobblestone garden party. Congrats, you just had the Best Day of Your Life. Now what're we doing tonight?