The Tim Hortons donut power rank
Everybody likes Tim Hortons donuts, and everybody likes when stuff fights other stuff, so we finally brought the two together by ruthlessly power-ranking the entire classic dozen treats for your pleasure. So who is the holiest of holes? Who leaves you feeling like there’s an empty space at your center? Find out here...
12. Old Fashion Plain
These plain, old-fashioned donuts (hence the name!) might be somebody’s bag... but screw that guy, they're boring.
11. Old Fashion Sugared
Sprinkling sugar over a mediocre donut is an improvement, but at the end of the day, we’re still talking about a mediocre donut sprinkled with sugar.
10. Old Fashion Glazed
The Old Fashion Glazed is clearly trying harder, and we appreciate that, but at the end of the day... (see #11).
Whoever said it ain’t hip to be square clearly didn’t consider the Dutchie. Probably because they came from the 1950s before it was invented. But this raisin-filled glazed square is a mysterious conundrum. Why is it square? What does it have to do with the Dutch? Without any answers, it stays at #9.
8. Chocolate Glazed
Yes, it does taste delicious, but this one loses points for slightly resembling a turd. Just stating facts here.
7. Apple Fritter
It’s true, this donut does break the cardinal rule of including fruit (practically vegetables) in dessert, but in this case, the Apple Fritter gets bonus points for going a little easier on us during the carbohydrate comedown phase.
6. Chocolate Dip
There really ain’t nothing wrong with going for a little chocolate dip, we just know it can do better (see #1!).
5. Honey Cruller
These twisty light donuts, sweetened with honey and filled with little air pockets, are the stuff Tom Jones writes songs about.
4. Powdered Sugar Jelly
Preeetty sure some of the times Rob Ford got caught with white powder under his nose, he was probably eating/attempting to snort one of these babies. And who could blame him? They're delicious! One might even say they're like crack.
3. Vanilla Sprinkle
Don’t lie. Somewhere, deep down, the inner child in you sheds a little tear of happiness over these confetti sprinkle donuts... then demands you eat one, or they'll punch your spleen or something.
2. Maple Dip
Sickeningly sweet, unapologetically patriotic -- it’s no surprise Canadians love Timmy’s Maple Dip donuts, which are also sickeningly sweet and unapologetically patriotic.
1. Boston Cream
There’s just no getting around this vanilla custard-filled, chocolate-covered donut cake of love. Boston, we owe ya one. Sincerely, Canada.