Divide sandwich into eight triangles, and eat like a slice. When you eat the whole thing in one sitting, you’ll have only a fraction of the guilt you experience when you polish off a whole pie by yourself.
Sprawl out onto chaise lounge. Summon cherub (or, someone who owes you a serious favor). Cherub will then feed you bite-sized pieces of the ice cream sandwich as all your worries fade into nothingness.
Can’t decide on an ice cream flavor? Or a cookie combination? Create two separate sandwiches. Place one in each fist. Chomp one, then alternate to the next. Indecision has never been so sweet.
Hold ice cream sandwich between you and your date. Each start at one end and coyly bite the sandwich. Pray you accidentally kiss as you finish off this chilly treat.
Twist off one of the cookies. Lick the inside of the ice cream until it’s nearly gone. Then eat remaining cookies. Now, you’ve had two desserts in one sitting.
Place napkin on lap. Pick up knife and fork, and cut off a piece of the sandwich. Place knife and fork down as you chew. If you’re one of those “sweet” and “supportive” types who eat pizza with a knife and fork, this is for you.