We now live in a food culture where no phrase can be uttered without being a stupid pun or insider slang, and in the process, we've developed a culinary lexicon that has become so convoluted, reading a menu sounds like a cross between a science book, a travelogue, and a lost diary from the Oregon Trail. In short, we need to clean up our f****** language, starting with these phrases.
We appreciate the idea of freshness as much as anybody, but this kind of gives us the suspicion that we're gonna get a plate full of dirt clods. Every place that doesn't use frozen veggies (except the really hip ones without tables) is now using this, and it's making Old McDonald's kids feel less special at Sunday dinner.
"Oh no, that’s not a salad, that’s a deconstructed chicken sandwich with avocado, spinach, baby carrots, ramps, a light raspberry vinaigrette, and lemon zest. See, the roll’s over there, on the side."