While the rest of the universe continued existing in 3D, everyone's favorite extreme Doritos ceased to exist on that plane back in the mid-2000s. And the world wept. But now the time for mourning is over, because 3D DORITOS ARE BACK, BABY! Well, kinda -- they're new Doritos Jacked 3D chips, a (shall we say?) edgier version of Doritos' bold Jacked lineup (which we taste-tested here).
The chips, which you can find in stores all over the country starting this week, are available in Jalapeño Pepper Jack flavor, and a Bacon Cheddar Ranch version will hit shelves sometime this summer. While they're not quite the puffed-up, rounded 3D Doritos of your youth, they still defy the two dimensions that have held back other Doritos for so long -- they're thick and triangular (kinda reminiscent of a Triforce?), with holes that we can only assume improve their aerodynamics as they fall into your mouth. And they taste strongly of spicy queso dip.
All in all, if you're a fan of extreme snacks, you should get your hands on a bag immediately. We just can't wait to see what happens when Doritos go four-dimensional. Or maybe they always have been?!
Adam Lapetina is a Food/Drink staff writer for Thrillist, and there aren't enough dimensions to contain his excitement. Read his musings at @adamlapetina.