The 411: "But what do we do with all these tendons and meat scraps that aren't good enough to eat?", asked Cornell food science Professor Robert C. Baker back in the '50s. The answer: Make a gooey slurry of it, press it into molds, then bread and fry the sh*t out of it. And thus the world became a happier place filled with dinosaur-shaped meat.
Key attributes: Spongy interior; crispy breading that slides off like an iPhone case, leaving you to ponder what that glistening meat you're holding actually is.
Andy Kryza is Thrillist's national eat/drink senior editor, and has proudly lived vegetable-free since 2001. Follow his adventures/slow decline via Twitter at @apkryza.