In yet another aggressive stab at world domination, Amazon has introduced a full line of non-offensive, basic snack-foods for all your masticating pleasures. For some reason, they're dubbing the new venture "Wickedly Prime" -- which, honestly, just makes me think of John Travolta's brain fizzling on national TV. Nevertheless, the stuff is cheap as all heck, available to everyone who has Prime, and can even work for you on a subscription-basis -- assuming your life is in a place where you know you'll need masala butternut squash soup every 30 days, exactly. Must be nice.
But, like Amazon Prime's original programming, some of the offerings are decidedly better than others: for every snacking equivalent of the transcendent Transparent, there's a (not-so-great) culinary analogue of Betas. Presented here is an uncompromising Amazon Prime snacks primer (ugh) separated into five categories: soup, chips, popcorn, nuts, and cookie spreads (we left Wickedly's line of teas out because they are not snacks, sorry).