Where it thrives: In every single city, suburb, and college town in America.
Distinguishing qualities: Round, bready crust overloaded with greasy pepperoni and sausage. Extremely stringy cheese. Best consumed from a silver-towered serving tray in a room equipped with pinball machines, or taken home in a box sporting a finger-licking caricature of an Italian chef.
A great example: Gina's Pizza in Flushing, MI, Peter's Pizza in Wellesley, MA, or pretty much every single place you remember fondly from childhood that will appear in the comments section below preceded by "you forgot".
Ranking rationale: An individual's definition of pizza is what they ate when they were kids. It's not New York. It's not Chicago. It's whatever they had in their hometown. And it's perfect.
Andy Kryza is Thrillist's national eat/drink senior editor, and has proudly lived vegetable-free since 2001. Follow his adventures/slow decline via Twitter at @apkryza.