Considering it lets you skip a trip to the shrink, Reddit has quickly become our collective confessional booth. Waiters use it to air awkward customer interactions, and, now, customers are hitting the threads to complain about each other. On a recent AskReddit post, commenters answered the question, "What's something you hate seeing people do in a restaurant?" The responses were predictably hilarious/horrifying, and you can get the best ones right here. Maybe one day, we'll live in a world where parents leave their child potties in the car.
9. People knocking booths
"When they are flopping around aggressively in a booth, whose seatback is shared by another booth, especially when that other booth is occupied by me."
8. Ordering false-starts
"People who carry on conversations at the table while the waiter is waiting to take their order, when they literally just grabbed his shirt to stop him from walking by because they were ready to order. Yeah, this happened to me and I was pissed."
7. Fork jam sessions
"Kids using f**king silverware to drum on the table and then everyone at the table f**king applauding them."
6. Water cup cons
"People who request a water cup (they're smaller and free) and then go to fill up at the soda machine. You're stealing."
5. Space hoarding
"When some douchebag with a laptop orders a coffee and proceeds to sit in the giant corner booth with a bunch of chairs around it and splays out all his s**t and just surfs the f**king internet during the lunch rush while people with trays of actual food walk around desperately searching for a seat to eat their meal and leave. Why did you have to take up 8 f**king spaces just to sit there looking like a f**king vacant muppet with your SUPER COOL ALIENWARE LAPTOP. I wanna throw my breadbowl on you for being an inconsiderate t**t."
4. Couples with severe PDA problems
"I saw this new couple (I assume it was a new couple) sitting next to each other and the girl was taking sips out of her soda and passing it from her mouth into her boyfriend's mouth. They were also kissing a lot and his hands were wandering under her blouse. Get a goddammed room, I'm trying to enjoy my food."
3. Unapproved porta-potties
"I've been at a restaurant with my husband when a family, (including a toddler) walked in, sat down and placed a child's potty right next to their table."
2. Endlessly embarrassing parents
"My dad joining in with the waiters singing 'Happy Birthday' for a table on the other side of the restaurant."
1. Goldilocks-style shenanigans
"Send food back because it's too warm. Just wait two f**kin minutes."
Kristin Hunt is a food/drink staff writer for Thrillist, and always gives side-eye to people pulling the complimentary cup con. Follow her at @kristin_hunt.