Come at me, bra!
“One time an old woman asked if I was wearing a bra, then full-on grabbed my boob. If it was a dude I would have freaked the fuck out, but since it was an older woman I was lost in emotion. Then she went and had sex in the bathroom and another server walked in on them."
The little guy made a mess
“I was working at a high-end Mexican restaurant and a guest stopped to let me know that a 'little guy made a mess,' and pointed to the floor. The server assumed it was a pile of black beans and the 'little guy' was one of the short Guatemalan bussers. However, after he threw the mess away, the trash can reeked, and he quickly realized that a toddler had pooped everywhere.”
Dan Gentile is a food/drink staff writer at Thrillist. His most awkward restaurant story is better than all of these. Follow him to bold-faced lies: @Dannosphere.