Showtime! When the alarm goes off, some extremely subtle (and extremely delicious-smelling) bacon scents starting coming out of the attachment, along with the sounds of bacon sizzling and a soothing voice intoning "Baconisms".
Among the Baconisms we heard:
"Bacon is both strength and weakness."
"Time passes and civilizations crumble, but bacon is forever.”
"There is an empty skillet in every one of us, begging to be completed by a strip of bacon.”
This is not as good as waking up to the actual smells and sounds of bacon cooking in the pan, but better than waking up to the default alarm on your phone.
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Lee Breslouer writes about food and drink for Thrillist and enjoys the smell of bacon more than the taste. Follow him @LeeBreslouer, because you can't make up a name that good.