The 10 worst foods to eat on a date
Going out on a date is an exciting affair, filled with the wonder and tension that comes from wondering whether this might be the person you end up splitting a good-sized double bed with for the rest of your life. But, before you can even contemplate joined-at-the-hip status, you've got to make a good impression, and nothing ruins said good impression more than ordering one of these 10 foods:
Reason To Avoid Them: If you're on a date at a spot that serves wings, you pretty much already bleu it. Unless you make that joke. In which case you are totally hilarious and on the fast track to first base. But really, you shouldn't be ordering something that is going to turn your mouth and hands the color of that lady prison show on Netflix.
Reason To Avoid It: Really? Well, if you must know, garlic contains allyl methyl sulfide (AMS), which is a volatile liquid absorbed into the blood when consuming garlic, which is then exuded through the pores, so not only your breath, but also your skin stinks. And studies show that people with smelly skin generally don't get second dates.
Reason To Avoid It: Nothing sets the mood quite like the sounds of cracking crustacean and nervous gut-slurping.
Culprit: Onion Rings
Reason To Avoid Them: Yes, ordering onion rings does show that you're not just a regular fry-guy who's willing to sacrifice flavor for starch and also that you'll spend an extra buck for the side you really want. The trade-off is that they make you smell like you just left a not particularly eventful state fair.
Reason To Avoid Them: Yes, a good rib is a thing of beauty, but an object of your potential affection teeth-ripping pork fat means the only rub you'll be getting is a dry one.
Culprit: Corn on the Cob
Reason To Avoid It: Like wings and ribs, corn on the cob falls into the gnawable category and should thus be avoided. It also leads to the very fun game of do-I-have-anything-in-my-teeth, which let's you take turns analyzing each others years of dental neglect. Oh wait, that's actually not a very fun game at all.
Culprit: Hot Dogs
Reason To Avoid Them: Even if you class it up with relish or hide it in a warm blanket of corn, it still doesn't hide the fact that you're biting into a meat stick whose condiments are very soon going to be on your shirt, and your hands, and your face.
Culprit: Mozzarella Sticks
Reason To Avoid Them: Less a breath or hands or face thing, and more of a "prove you graduated from sixth grade eating habits" thing.
Culprit: Fast Food
Reason To Avoid It: It might seem like a good idea to swing by a drive-thru for some quick sustenance in between datey activities like kayaking or going to a museum or explaining your crippling college debt, but taking a romantic interest to Taco Bell is a sure-fire way to make her want to run for the border.
Culprit: Baked Beans
Reason To Avoid Them: Not a good idea even if you know a clever rhyme about how they're a magic fruit.
Dan Gentile is a staff writer on Thrillist's national food/drink team who recently purchased a very nice toaster oven and is excited about exploring the world of crispy reheated food. He also enjoys hating mustard. Follow him to pots of gold/Twitter at @Dannosphere.