Brotato, if you're supposed to seat yourself, there will be a sign. If there isn't a sign, wait your ass up at the front. Anyone too self-important to wait to be seated is going to be too self-important to be even a halfway-decent customer.
Asking the server to "hook you up"
Jackass, I don't know you. We aren't pals. I'm not going to get you free shit when A) I have no idea what kind of tipper you are and B) we just freaking met. Note as a counterpoint, though: If a customer immediately hands me a $20 when sitting down (and this has happened before), I will hook them up however they damn well want. You bet your ass I'm taking care of you at that point.
Bragging about being a great tipper
No, you aren't. Anyone who utters these words thinks 10% is a great tip. Never once has anyone who has ever claimed to be a good tipper actually been a good tipper. It has never happened in history. It's like the idea of a dentist that doesn't make you wait half an hour just for funsies -- it has never been a real thing. This is often comorbid with asking one's server to hook them up (which shouldn't be surprising).