Here are two things you might not know about everybody's favorite fauna-themed packed-lunch staple:
1. Barnum's, the Nabisco-owned brand you most likely associate with animal crackers due to the delightful circus-wagon packaging, are technically named Barnum's Animals Crackers. Now that you know this, you are legally required to refer to them as animals crackers. (Even though, let's face it, animals crackers should really be called animals cookies.)
2. While all animals crackers are noble, some animals crackers shapes are decidedly more noble than others.
Since #1 is fairly self-explanatory, let's focus on #2. Using the Barnum's variety (sorry, Stauffer's and Austin brands), I took it upon myself to rank the many whimsical shapes found in the package by applying highly scientific, totally cutthroat, and entirely objective reasoning.