Developed in New Zealand (probably by Hobbits), the Jazz apple should really be named the Crazy Delicious. It's so sweet it doesn't even taste like fruit -- it's more like dessert. The dense flesh is similar to the Braeburn (of which it's derived), and each bite gushes with juice.
It's so good that even if someone asked you about them in an aggressive Boston accent through the window of a diner, you'd have no choice but to admit that you like... them apples.
Dan Gentile is a staff writer on the National Food and Drink team at Thrillist. He'd like to personally apologize to every apple that's sat neglected on his counter, quietly bruising in boredom. And also for the Good Will Hunting jokes. Follow him to more fruits named after music genres at @Dannosphere.