This list would be way too long if I listed every type of sauce or condiment that frequently finds a spot on toasted buns, so I’ve put them all together in a category of their own. Sure, some condiments are going to fare better than others -- ketchup seems mandatory, and I absolutely love a garlic aioli. Even off-putting condiments (who puts relish on their burgers?) add moisture and additional flavor. They tie the whole thing together; some are spicy, others are decadent, and some are classic blends of ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise. The idea of a dry burger with dry buns is so sad that I don’t even want to think about it.
Still, not all condiments are created equal, so in the interest of being completist -- and the fact that maybe Inception was on last night -- here is a ranking within this ranking of core burger condiments, from best to worst.
3. Thousand Island
4. Mayonnaise and its delicious derivatives
7. BBQ sauce (it’s way too sweet and BBQ chips are the worst too and I’m not sorry).