Because you know what? Regular-ass, unadorned, zero-specifications cheese pizza IS lovely. It's high time we, the enlightened, reclaimed the good name of cheese pizza, not as the last resort of the excessively finicky and the unimaginative, but as a true work of art. A cheese pizza is pizza distilled to its essence, a centuries-old culinary art expressed in its purest form. End of argument.
But since we're here, let's continue arguing.
The "how can we top ourselves next" food culture we live in (of which my place of employ is certainly guilty of perpetuating on occasion) fuels a "more is better" mentality when some things are just best left the fuck alone. Milkshakes are glorious just the way they are. The world did not need "freakshakes."