Before we go any further, I have a confession. If you asked me two weeks ago what I thought about the humble Cheez-It, I would have probably given you a simple and uninspired "meh." The mention of the snack would make me think about the halcyon days of middle school snack-time, the soiled floor of the of my mom's '97 Ford Explorer... and not much else. So when I was tasked with ranking "every single flavor of Cheez-It," I assumed the lift would be low and simple -- after all, how many flavors of Cheez-Its can there be? And, more importantly, how different can they be? And perhaps most importantly, what is really the plural version of Cheez-It? Cheez-I? Cheez-Them?
Well, when I stared down 21 (yes, 21) boxes of distinctly flavored Cheez-Its (according to our copy editor Will, that's the correct way to do "Cheez-It," plural), I realized just how sorely I had been underrating these tiny little windows of flavor all of these years. Each variety had a different taste. Every box was a new adventure. And the party that was happening in my mouth, in (most) of cases, was the culinary equivalent of a Diddy all-white Hamptons party in June featuring a surprise musical performance by Phil Collins. Simply put: Cheez-Its are kind of the shit. And I was totally wrong.