In American mythology, it's common knowledge that grandmothers make the best chocolate chip cookies (well, grandmothers and elves). But your grandmother's cookies aren't always available, unfortunately, so more often than not, we turn to store-bought cookies (that may or may not be made by elves) to fill the void. But which brand gives you the best chunks for your buck?

To find out, we assembled a crack team of cookie enthusiasts to do a blind taste-test of 11 different chocolate chip cookie brands, and then rate them on a scale of 1 to 10. The spectrum involved runs from chewy to crunchy, doughy to crumbly, and everywhere in between.

Without further ado, here’s our ranking of the worst and best chocolate chip cookies.

Drew Swantak/Thrillist

11. Keebler Chips Deluxe Original

Rating out of 10: 2.7
The tasters say:
“This looks like one of those shortbread cookies. Not chocolate chip.”
“It’s muddy. It’s like when you wake up after passing out on the beach and there’s sand in your mouth.”
“It has the same texture as halva. It’s gritty.”

Drew Swantak/Thrillist

10. Keebler Soft Batch Chocolate Chip

Rating out of 10: 2.8
The tasters say:
“The flavor’s only in the chocolate chips and there aren’t enough of them.”
“It’s straight-up dough.”
“It’s really dry and not very sweet.”

Drew Swantak/Thrillist

9. Famous Amos

Rating out of 10: 3.3
The tasters say:
“Tastes like these should be in a 100-calorie bag.”
“This is basically oversized Cookie Crisp cereal.”
“The crumble factor is pretty high. It’s getting all over me.”
“Did this come from a vending machine?”

Drew Swantak/Thrillist

8. Chewy Chips Ahoy!

Rating out of 10: 3.5
The tasters say:
“It’s very orange, wet, and round.”
“It looks like a food-mimicking Play-Doh kit. Delicious Play-Doh, though.”
“It’s got an interesting aftertaste. Floury and weird.”

Drew Swantak/Thrillist

7. Original Chips Ahoy!

Rating out of 10: 3.8
The tasters say:
“Doesn’t really taste like anything.”
“The chocolate chips taste like they were synthesized. 3D-printed chocolate chips.”
“This is like what your Grandma gives you if she hates you.”

Drew Swantak/Thrillist

6. Pepperidge Farm Nantucket

Rating out of 10: 4.5
The tasters say:
“If a gang of gingersnaps decided to make a chocolate chip cookie, they would bake this.”
“This is too crumbly and airy. Like a glitter bomb.”
“I like the size of the chunks, but they have a weird taste.”

Drew Swantak/Thrillist

5. Tate’s Bake Shop

Rating out of 10: 6.5
The tasters say:
“It tastes like a Werther’s Original.”
“This is straight-up like someone got Toll House cookie dough and left them in the oven too long.”
“There’s a good saltiness to them. It’s like a cracker cookie.”
“Its imperfections make it beautiful.”

Drew Swantak/Thrillist

4. Mrs. Fields

Rating out of 10: 6.7
The tasters say:
“If this was a beauty contest, these would win.”
“It’s very buttery. These could maybe pass for cookies that were made by a human being.”
“What this tastes like to me is the little cookie dough pieces in ice cream, pulled out and mashed into a disc.”
“There’s a weird spice in there. Not nutmeg. Butterscotch!”

Drew Swantak/Thrillist

3. Pepperidge Farm Soft Baked Montauk

Rating out of 10: 7
The tasters say:
“It straight-up looks like someone threw the chunks in afterwards.”
“You want some heft to the cookie. And this cookie’s got heft.”
“It’s like a deli cookie. It could easily be wrapped in cellophane.”
“That’s a session cookie. You can definitely sit around with it.”

Drew Swantak/Thrillist

2. Nice! Brand

Rating out of 10: 7.2
The tasters say:
“There’s a lot of cocoa. These are like giant Cookie Crisp cereal.”
“These are the most typical chocolate chip cookies.”
“They’re not dusty. They’re not going to get everywhere the way the others would.”

Drew Swantak/Thrillist

1. Entenmann’s Original Recipe Chocolate Chip

Rating out of 10: 7.3
The tasters say:
“It’s doughy in the most pleasant way possible.”
“I appreciate this the most because this is the only smaller cookie that isn’t ashy or dusty.”
“I feel like these wouldn’t put up with heat very well. Like if I left them in my car for a day. But I guess that’s not a huge issue.”

Drew Swantak/Thrillist

Conclusion

While our one generic store-bought brand, Nice!, put up a good fight, in the end Entenmann’s won the day. Unfortunately, its victory was mostly against mediocrity, with most of the other cookies in the field suffering from consistencies that were too dusty or chalky, or strange artificial aftertastes.

More high-performing cookies fell into the chewy category than the crunchy category, but the Nice! cookies were a notable exception, as were the super-thin, crackly Tate’s Bake Shop ones coming in fifth place. However, most of the low-performing cookies were also chewy, with the crunchier cookies taking up the middle of the pack.

Either you do chewy well, or you suffer some major consequences. And that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Or rather, doesn’t crumble.

Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email, and get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.

Adam Lapetina is the partnerships editor at Thrillist, and will forever be a crunchy chocolate chip cookie fan. Read his musings at @adamlapetina.

Clickbait

close

Learn More