Chances are that if you were, at any given moment in your life, a) American, b) young, and c) not a morning person, you've probably had a Pop-Tart for breakfast. They've nourished several generations (and continue to sustain college students of all ages), and recently celebrated their 50th birthday with the re-release of a special flavor: Chocolate Vanilla Creme, BIRTHDAY EDITION.
But we haven't yet forgotten the many Pop-Tarts past, some of whom briefly came into being and were snuffed out before their times (or eaten to the point of extinction). As our birthday offering, here's a list of some of the more memorable discontinued Pop-Tarts.
This Ube Pancake is So Big It's Served in a Sheet Pan
Part of Pop-Tarts' Ice Cream Shoppe line (which also included Ice Cream Sandwich, Rainbow Cookie Sandwich, Strawberry Milkshake, and Vanilla Milkshake), this chocolatey flavor is sometimes still available in stores, whereas its brethren have been all but forgotten -- EXCEPT BY US (and many, many other people). They may have been forced out by the Pop-Tart ice cream sandwich craze.
Grape-flavored things rarely capture the true essence of the grape and usually coast by on their purpleness, but these Pop-Tarts were one of the notable exceptions to the rule. Unfortunately, Grape Pop-Tarts weren't universally popular enough to keep them on the shelves. They still have a huge cult following, though (probably early-rising oenophiles).
Star Wars Lava Berry Explosion
Over the years, there've been many forays by Pop-Tarts into homage territory -- American Idol Blue Raspberry and Indiana Jones Brown Sugar Cinnamon come to mind as a couple of the more out-there tie-ins -- and Star Wars Lava Berry Explosion was one of the best. Darth Vader probably doesn't want to remember all that stuff about the lava and the explosions, though.
Barbie WildBerry Printed Fun
These Pop-Tarts have Barbie stuff all over them, and were big back in the heyday of putting logos on literally everything. Barbie and Pop-Tarts might seem like some funky brand synergy, but keep in mind that Kellogg collaborated with them two more times (Barbie Sparkleberry and Barbie Islandberry)... and nothing can really compare to Hello Kitty Meow-Berry, which we're almost positive isn't a real berry. Probably still delicious though.
As you could probably guess by their Harvey Dent-esque countenance, Splitz were the Two-Faces of the Pop-Tart universe (the Batman is, of course, S'mores). This particular combination was one of the more daring, with the others in its family being, of course: Caramel Chocolate, Chocolate Vanilla, Double Chocolate, and Strawberry Blueberry. It was a true loss for all Pop-Tart fans, especially those that were fond of the letter "z".
Adam Lapetina is a food/drink staff writer for Thrillist, and his favorite Pop-Tart is Wild! Berry. Read his musings on Twitter at @adamlapetina.