"'I didn't ask about your salads. I don't want to eat a salad, I want to eat a sandwich. A burger -- or a chicken sandwich at the very least -- that has no fat. I can't have ANY FAT.'
"Another customer in line, maybe trying to be helpful, said, 'No fat at all? That sounds pretty strict.'
"The guy did not look happy. His nostrils flared and his face started to turn red. 'You would want to be strict too if all that fat was going to YOUR heart!'
"At this point, I realized it was cholesterol he was talking about, even though he kept saying fat, but since he was practically steaming out of the ears and I just wanted my hangover burger, I didn't speak up.
"'This place,' the guy said, now addressing the whole crowd of customers waiting to order our own little bundles of fat, cholesterol, and self-loathing on a sesame seed bun, 'is just getting WORSE. AND. WORSE. It's unbelievable! They're trying to kill me! There's fat in EVERYTHING!'