Sometimes you really need a proper dessert course but you don't have time to change out of your cut-off sweat shorts and Winnipeg Blue Bombers tank top, and you just want to be able to grab said dessert quickly and get back to your house to watch the Czech Republic get smoked in the Little League World Series. For that purpose, we've painstakingly noted the 15 best fast-food desserts you can get at regional and national chains.
15. Burger King's Hershey's Sundae Pie
This thing's pretty dang inexpensive, and it's packaged so well that it's almost impossible to spill any on yourself or your car... unless you actually try to eat it, since it's so tightly packed you can't help but spill it regardless of which utensil you use. Still, it's loaded down with Hershey's, and that's good enough to land a spot on this list.
14. Jack in the Box's Chocolate Overload Cake
It's cake (+) and it's chocolate (++), so it's automatically easy to eat and delicious. While pre-packaged like the BK pie, it's at least somewhat easier to eat, though still a little messy, and not in the good Jack in the Box Hot Mess commercial sense, either.
13. McDonald's Apple Pie
Nothing beats fresh hot apple pie. Unfortunately, McDonald's leaves off the fresh bit -- but at least the box lets you know almost exactly what to expect. Besides, who cares when you can get it for less than three quarters?
12. Steak 'n Shake's Turtle Sundae
Granted, it's one of the very few desserts that's appropriate to eat while watching Entourage reruns, but at the end of the day, they kinda just give you a bunch of really tasty ingredients stuffed into a styrofoam cup.
11. Arby's Cherry Turnover
Sure, it's a little flaky, but it's such a classic combination. The pastry, cherry filling, and icing combine to form a delicious treat that you can take anywhere, though maybe not into a bakery that exclusively sells cherry turnovers.
10. In-N-Out's Rootbeer Float
Like many things at In-N-Out, it's no one thing that stands out on their menu, but the seemingly endless array of options both on and off the menu. Need a rootbeer float? Great, how thick do you want it? And they'll ask you that without a hint of "that's what she said" irony.
9. Carl's Jr.'s Pop Tart Ice Cream Sandwich
Taste-wise it's good, really good, and could potentially be higher up this list if taste were all that mattered. Buuuuut, it basically needs an instruction manual before you can figure out how to eat it properly. And desserts that need instructional manuals lose points.
8. All of Sonic's Shakes and Malts
Sonic's got absolutely great chocolate malts, but if you're
un-American in the mood for something with a bit more of a wow factor, they've got literally dozens of other flavors to choose from; it's both democracy in its purest (semi-frozen) form, and it's enough to make a grown man slowly go mad.
7. Wendy's Chocolate Frosty
It's a damn classic, and one of the absolute best things you could possibly order on a 110deg summer's day, but it's also just a little too thick to suck through a straw while simultaneously being a little too soft to really use a spoon; they give you one of each, but really they need to give you a spoon/straw hybrid. Also, we shouldn't have to tell you, but DIP YOUR FRIES, SON!
6. Taco Bell's Cinnamon Twist
The cinnamon twist is simply the greatest thing to happen to cinnamon since most people quit drinking egg nog for health reasons. It's easy to eat, doesn't spill too much cinnamon and sugar everywhere, and is crispy without being so hard it breaks your teeth -- at least, not until the sugar has time to work its magic on them. But that simplicity means it's not moving any higher than six on the list.
5. Dairy Queen's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Blizzard
DQ says their Blizzards are so thick you can flip them upside down without worry, which is great in theory. In practice, however, it's just messy, so keep yours right side up and enjoy some of the finest ice cream you can get from a drive thru window.
4. Taco Bueno's Cheesecake Chimichangas
These primarily Southwest-based chain's cheesecake chimichangas are fried and sugary on the outside, cheesy on the inside, incredibly easy to eat, and are filled with cheesecake. Game over. Or, um, not really game over, because we've still got three to go. Still: game close to over!
3. Taco Cabana's Sopapillas
No Tex-Mex meal is complete without sopaplilas; we're pretty sure that's a codified rule somewhere. Taco Cabana's are crispy-yet-soft, and come with enough honey and dulce de leche to go around. Near perfection.
2. McDonald's Oreo McFlurry
This works for the simple reason that the whole of an object can be greater than the sum of its parts. Vanilla ice cream trumps Robert van Winkle, and Oreo cookies trump every other cookie in the history of cookies. Blend 'em together in the same cup and you've got a mobile frozen heaven.
1. Braum's Banana Split
This takes the frozen cake not just because it's got vanilla and chocolate and strawberry ice cream, or chocolate and strawberry and marshmallow toppings, or almonds and cherries and bananas. It takes the frozen cake because it's simply divine, nostalgic in a 1950s "everything's perfect, now lets do our nuclear bomb drill" sense. And it takes the cake because unlike so many other fast-food options, this one's properly hand crafted.
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