The Colonel, who I remember fondly as a happy character from my childhood, does make me want to run and buy a new bolo tie, but his chicken isn't enough to make me go back.
Church's succeeds in offering a tasty alternative, but underneath the thick cloud of crumbly batter hides fairly neutral flavored meat that tastes totally naked without the crunch of buttermilk. The true champion of the test is the mighty Popeyes, whose ultra-crispy exterior gives way to some of the most flavorful fowl to ever stain a paper bucket.
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email, and get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.
Dan Gentile is a staff writer on Thrillist's National Food/Drink team who has taste-tested everything from the Big Mac to the Big King. He also enjoys hating mustard. Follow him to pots of gold/Twitter at @Dannosphere.