5. In-N-Out's Neapolitan shake
Price: $2.15 (medium)
Coldness: Not very cold. You probably won't want this while the sun is up.
Strengths: Variety. Friendly service.
Weaknesses: Temperature, consistency, ball-hogging strawberry flavors, severe throat-coat.
Tasting notes: A fresh Nea-swirl is a joy to look at, but as soon as it hits your mouth the first thought isn't sweetness, it's thickness. This shake is as thick as a "Yo' Mamma" joke. Texture aside, at first the triple threat of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry flavors gracefully three-man weave like a well-oiled 7th grade basketball team, and, also like a high school basketball team, a star quickly emerges. That star is strawberry. After a dozen sips, the strawberry overpowers all the other flavors, and you're essentially drinking a strawberry shake.