Internet scientists have conjectured that a mere 20,000 calories of sugar can be lethal. Which sucks, because we all know the best part of Halloween as an adult is not dressing up as the Mad Pooper, but rather eating all the candy you bought to hand out to all the precious little kiddies also dressed up as the Mad Pooper but decided to hoard instead. Cruel.
Maximum dosage aside, if you're going to nearly overdose on sugar, you might as well eat brand-spanking-new 2017 candy, right? Luckily for you, we rounded up the best new treats on shelves right now. Just remember: keep your intake under 20,000 calories. We all want you to you live to see Halloween 2018. Who knows what the candy situation will be like then.