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Krispy Kreme Donuts, Ranked in Haikus

Krispy Kreme Donuts
Cole Saladino/Thrillist

The perfect donut is like a haiku. Its beauty lies in simplicity. Its rounded in its symmetry. And, it's easily consumable.

So when I was tasked with ranking everything available on Krispy Kreme's bountiful roster of glazed (and occasionally unglazed) delicacies, I thought the only format worthy was and still is the haiku. 

You might disagree
Sorry, I don't really
It's my article

Krispy Kreme Donuts
Cole Saladino/Thrillist

24. Pumpkin spice cake

Of course it's a thing
Why wouldn't it be a thing?
Please make it stop. K?

23. Apple fritter

Are fritters donuts?
Does it matter anyway?
Still, doesn't taste good

22. Dulce De Leche

The word "caramel?"
Three syllables, or two? Hm.
Really matters here. 
 

Krispy Kreme Donuts
Cole Saladino/Thrillist

21. Glazed raspberry filled

Not a fan of fruit
Especially in donuts
This one is just 'aight
 

20. Glazed blueberry cake

So, this resembles
A NASA lunar photo
Not a great look, right?

19. Powdered lemon filled

Have you tasted Pledge?
Rightfully so, most have not
Try this, and know why

Krispy Kreme Donut
Cole Saladino/Thrillist

18. Glazed with Kreme filling

Hm, a glazed donut?
Oh wait? Is there more inside?
Hello, nice surprise!
 

17. Traditional cake

Simplicity's nice
This one's a little bland, though
Need something sweeter

16. Powdered cake

Oh, well, here it is
It's sweeter, definitely
Thanks, powdered sugar

Krispy Kreme Donut
Cole Saladino/Thrillist

15. Cinnamon bun

So rich, savory
Just like grandma used to make!
Only this time, worse

14. Glazed chocolate cake

Cacao overload
Too much chocolate, for me
Please dial it back, bro

13. Chocolate iced cake

So, ultimately 
This is still a "cake" donut
This, I hold against

12. Chocolate custard

The chocolate stuff
A tad too overwhelming
I wish it wasn't

Krispy Kreme Donut
Cole Saladino/Thrillist

11. Chocolate glazed donut

With glaze and icing
You get the best of both worlds
But still, not the best
 

10. Powdered strawberry Kreme

Mad light and fluffy
Spells "Kreme" in a quirky way
Wait, now I get it

9. Cinnamon twist

It's a figure eight
But, you know, you can it
Though, it makes a mess

8. Glazed cruller 

What is a cruller?
Excellent question, my friend
Don't know, but it's good

7. Mini original glazed

Just like number one
Except much, much, much smaller
Whoops, spoiler alert

6. Glazed lemon filled

The peak, filling-wise
Complements the donut well
This is a good mix

Krispy Kreme Donut
Cole Saladino/Thrillist

5. Strawberry frosted

The frosting is strong
Homer Simpson's favorite
Better than Dunkin'

4. Maple 

Lumberjack special
A true taste of the Great North
Canadian flare

3. Cinnamon sugar

Not too sweet, un-glazed
This is a moderate's fav
Fuck off, Cinnabon

Krispy Kreme Donut
Cole Saladino/Thrillist

2. Chocolate iced glazed with sprinkles

Chocolate icing
With crunchy -- not soft -- sprinkles
Almost first, but not
 

Krispy Kreme
Cole Saladino/Thrillist

1. Original glazed

Sometimes the best things
Can be the simplest things
Here's an example

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Wil Fulton is a staff writer for Thrillist. He actually blames Gwyneth Paltrow for most of the world's problems. Follow him @wilfulton.