Krispy Kreme Donuts, Ranked in Haikus
The perfect donut is like a haiku. Its beauty lies in simplicity. Its rounded in its symmetry. And, it's easily consumable.
So when I was tasked with ranking everything available on Krispy Kreme's bountiful roster of glazed (and occasionally unglazed) delicacies, I thought the only format worthy was and still is the haiku.
You might disagree
Sorry, I don't really
It's my article
24. Pumpkin spice cakeOf course it's a thing
Why wouldn't it be a thing?
Please make it stop. K?
23. Apple fritterAre fritters donuts?
Does it matter anyway?
Still, doesn't taste good
22. Dulce De LecheThe word "caramel?"
Three syllables, or two? Hm.
Really matters here.
21. Glazed raspberry filledNot a fan of fruit
Especially in donuts
This one is just 'aight
20. Glazed blueberry cakeSo, this resembles
A NASA lunar photo
Not a great look, right?
19. Powdered lemon filledHave you tasted Pledge?
Rightfully so, most have not
Try this, and know why
18. Glazed with Kreme fillingHm, a glazed donut?
Oh wait? Is there more inside?
Hello, nice surprise!
17. Traditional cakeSimplicity's nice
This one's a little bland, though
Need something sweeter
16. Powdered cakeOh, well, here it is
It's sweeter, definitely
Thanks, powdered sugar
15. Cinnamon bunSo rich, savory
Just like grandma used to make!
Only this time, worse
14. Glazed chocolate cakeCacao overload
Too much chocolate, for me
Please dial it back, bro
13. Chocolate iced cakeSo, ultimately
This is still a "cake" donut
This, I hold against
12. Chocolate custardThe chocolate stuff
A tad too overwhelming
I wish it wasn't
11. Chocolate glazed donutWith glaze and icing
You get the best of both worlds
But still, not the best
10. Powdered strawberry KremeMad light and fluffy
Spells "Kreme" in a quirky way
Wait, now I get it
9. Cinnamon twistIt's a figure eight
But, you know, you can it
Though, it makes a mess
8. Glazed crullerWhat is a cruller?
Excellent question, my friend
Don't know, but it's good
7. Mini original glazedJust like number one
Except much, much, much smaller
Whoops, spoiler alert
6. Glazed lemon filledThe peak, filling-wise
Complements the donut well
This is a good mix
5. Strawberry frostedThe frosting is strong
Homer Simpson's favorite
Better than Dunkin'
4. MapleLumberjack special
A true taste of the Great North
3. Cinnamon sugarNot too sweet, un-glazed
This is a moderate's fav
Fuck off, Cinnabon
2. Chocolate iced glazed with sprinklesChocolate icing
With crunchy -- not soft -- sprinkles
Almost first, but not
1. Original glazedSometimes the best things
Can be the simplest things
Here's an example
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