Krispy Kreme Donuts, Ranked in Haikus

The perfect donut is like a haiku. Its beauty lies in simplicity. Its rounded in its symmetry. And, it's easily consumable.

So when I was tasked with ranking everything available on Krispy Kreme's bountiful roster of glazed (and occasionally unglazed) delicacies, I thought the only format worthy was and still is the haiku. 

You might disagree
Sorry, I don't really
It's my article

Of course it's a thing
Why wouldn't it be a thing?
Please make it stop. K?

Are fritters donuts?
Does it matter anyway?
Still, doesn't taste good

The word "caramel?"
Three syllables, or two? Hm.
Really matters here. 
 

Not a fan of fruit
Especially in donuts
This one is just 'aight
 

So, this resembles
A NASA lunar photo
Not a great look, right?

Have you tasted Pledge?
Rightfully so, most have not
Try this, and know why

Hm, a glazed donut?
Oh wait? Is there more inside?
Hello, nice surprise!
 

Simplicity's nice
This one's a little bland, though
Need something sweeter

Oh, well, here it is
It's sweeter, definitely
Thanks, powdered sugar

So rich, savory
Just like grandma used to make!
Only this time, worse

Cacao overload
Too much chocolate, for me
Please dial it back, bro

So, ultimately 
This is still a "cake" donut
This, I hold against

The chocolate stuff
A tad too overwhelming
I wish it wasn't

With glaze and icing
You get the best of both worlds
But still, not the best
 

Mad light and fluffy
Spells "Kreme" in a quirky way
Wait, now I get it

It's a figure eight
But, you know, you can it
Though, it makes a mess

What is a cruller?
Excellent question, my friend
Don't know, but it's good

Just like number one
Except much, much, much smaller
Whoops, spoiler alert

The peak, filling-wise
Complements the donut well
This is a good mix

The frosting is strong
Homer Simpson's favorite
Better than Dunkin'

Lumberjack special
A true taste of the Great North
Canadian flare

Not too sweet, un-glazed
This is a moderate's fav
Fuck off, Cinnabon

Chocolate icing
With crunchy -- not soft -- sprinkles
Almost first, but not
 

Sometimes the best things
Can be the simplest things
Here's an example

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