All 63 Reese’s Candy Products, Ranked
The candy made for October.
There are very few brands as synonymous with October as Reese's. The mad wizard of peanut butter and chocolate boasts a robust line of nearly 100 candies, spreads, cookies, and cereals, and if you’ve got a brain in that head of yours, you love him and everything he’s created.
It may be a surprise to even the most ardent Cuphead that Reese's candy line extends beyond 60 products, among them Pieces, bars, and cups of all sizes ranging from good to great. And once we realized how beastly that line was, we did what any sane adults would: hunkered down, ate them all, ranked them, and then passed out.
There's a lot to consider when ranking these things, especially because many of them are just slight variations on the original cup. So the only way to do this is to get nitpicky. Like, real nitpicky. Which product provides the perfect bite? Which shape is more visually appealing? Which one hits you with the perfect peanut butter-to-chocolate ratio? And which ones play most strongly to one dude’s extreme bias?
Below, you'll find the answers to those questions and more.
63. White Crème Pink Hearts
Upon first bite, the pinkies taste like any other white crème Reese’s product, and that would have landed them somewhere in the high 20s. However, there is something much more sinister going on here. There’s a truly unexpected aftertaste that sneaks up on you after about 10 seconds. It’s not an aspartame-type aftertaste, no, it’s much worse… I couldn’t help but feel like I was tasting spoiled milk. Like a true professional, I took to the ingredients to see what’s going on with that. These Pink Hearts, instead of using skim milk for the chocolate, use lactose milk. Whatever is happening to the lactose through the process of cooking, making chocolate, and adding the color makes it Reese's least lovable candy.
62. White Pumpkins
White chocolate is a nightmare. This is a medical fact. Disagree? Take it up with science. For this reason, most of the Reese’s white chocolate products are snuggly and warm at the bottom of this ranking.
61. White Chocolate Eggs
If you like white chocolate, you’re probably shocked and hurt and personally offended that most of the Reese’s white chocolate products have made a home here at the bottom of this ranking. I’ve certainly received enough angry Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook messages to let me know that the white chocolate army isn’t messing around. Sure, white chocolate isn’t my favorite, but there’s something more to it than just that: it simply doesn’t go very well with peanut butter. The magic of Reese’s has always resided in the beautiful harmony between chocolate and peanut butter. It’s a combination we see in the world over and over again, but when you switch the chocolate to white chocolate, a lot of that magic is lost. It’s not a candy that hits you with a beautiful taste combo, but rather a candy that just tastes like a bunch of white chocolate and peanut butter. And that, my friends, just doesn’t work as well.
As far as the Eggs go, they have a thicker coating of white chocolate surrounding the edges than the classic cups, and that doesn’t help them one bit.
60. White Peanut Butter Cups
Peanut Butter Cups and Pumpkins are basically the exact same thing. I did a blind bite test, and aside from the spiked edges, I was getting the same amount of chocolate and peanut butter in each bite. Truly the only difference is one is shaped like a pumpkin, and the other is shaped like a… cup? It’s only just occurred to me that Reese’s Cups are shaped like no cup I’ve ever seen. Anyway, these so called “Cups” are a lot more classic than Pumpkins, so they rank a bit better.
Ghosts only come in white chocolate, which I like. I appreciate that a lot. It gives the Ghosts more of an authentic feel to it than the other white chocolate products. It’s also the only Reese’s product where the white chocolate thing actually makes sense ('cause, like, ghosts). Ghosts get the edge over the classic Cups and Pumpkins.
58. White Chocolate Miniatures
As you will see below, my love of Miniatures is strong. So it's a testament to how much I despise white chocolate that these things are ranked in between Ghosts and Minis.
57. White Mini Cups
If you’re not familiar with Minis, they’re the absolute smallest size of Reese’s. They’re different than the MiniATURES, of course, which are slightly bigger and individually wrapped. But you would never get something like that confused. The ratios on these Mini bad boys ends up being about 50% peanut butter, 50% chocolate. Very solid.
The reason the Minis top the bill for the white chocolate products is because, since they are so small, each bite gives you the least amount of white chocolate. Not to belabor the point, but white chocolate is an abomination.
56. Snack Mix
Seems like a great idea, right? Mini cups, Pieces, peanuts, and pretzels in a trail mix-style format? I really like the idea behind this. The problem, however, is that the peanuts are weak. Not sure where they even got these peanuts, but they’re just no good, and they make up about 50% of a bag of Snack Mix. How does a company famous for peanut-based products have such mediocre peanuts? HOW?
Listen to me, and listen well. If you pronounce this product “Reesies Peesies” you need to be sent to jail. You know damn well his name is Reese, and you know double damn well there ain’t no such thing as a peesie.
Sorry for yelling. Back to the matter at hand. I’m actually shocked at how low I’m ranking Reese’s Pieces. I remember loving them a lot. However, upon adult reflection, they’re missing a crucial ingredient, and one that I was shocked to discover was completely absent. There is no chocolate in Reese’s Pieces. Weird, right? I could have sworn they were half peanut butter, half chocolate. But nope. Double ’em up with M&Ms and you got yourself a helluva snack. Without the chocolate, you're misremembering they fall supremely flat.
54. Pastel Egg Pieces
Pastel eggs are slightly larger and encased in a crunchier shell than classic Pieces, but other than that they aren’t much different. The thicker and crunchier shell makes a difference though, and sort of evens out the peanut butter. As with the rest of the Pieces, though, they need some chocolate to fully balance things out. At the end of the day, it’s hard to eat more than a few of these without craving chocolate.
Remember Buncha Crunch? Buncha Crunch was one of the best things Ol' Man Nestlé ever did. Clearly this is Reese’s take on Buncha Crunch: mini peanut butter chips, rice puffs, and peanuts all covered in milk chocolate. Sounds great, but like in the Snack Mix, we’re dealing with some bad peanuts, and not enough puffed rice. The success in Buncha Crunch lies in the crunchiness of the rice, and Reese’s Cruncher just don’t give me enough of the crunch that I desire.
52. White Trees
A white chocolate product so much higher than the others? That’s right. When I first tried one of these little dudes, I was pleasantly surprised. I didn’t taste any of that nursty white chocolate flavor that I so strongly dislike, so I took to the package. Turns out these White Trees are not technically white chocolate at all, but rather white “crème”. It makes a world of difference, and though they aren’t as tasty as the classic chocolate and peanut butter duo, White Trees are not bad at all.
51. White Crème Hearts
Like trees. White trees. You're probably seeing a trend here.
50. 1-pound Bunny
Simply, this monster is too big. I’m not sure how this is actually meant to be enjoyed. As with the 8-ounce Heart, it’s too thick to break apart with your hands, and when you use a knife to saw through it you leave a nuclear fallout of chocolate flakes behind. Of course you can always portion it out, but trouble with the 1-pound Bunny is that the peanut butter/chocolate ratio is WAY off. In this way, it’s the opposite of the the Heart. The thing is gigantic, but only encased in a very thin layer of chocolate. It’s an absolute peanut butter overload, and this is made worse by the fact that the Bunny peanut butter is a bit chalky, and not at all creamy.
49. 8-ounce Hearts
No, you didn’t misread that. Reese’s really makes an 8-ounce candy. Now look, I eat lots of garbage. As you can see, I literally do it for a living. That said, I really don’t know who this is for. A mound of chocolate and peanut butter bigger than your palm is no small undertaking. There’s probably a very small percentage of people that could actually take this thing down. So does that mean it’s for splitting? If so, it would take a minimum of two people to eat, but mostly likely three or four. Furthermore, if it is meant for splitting, there’s no easy way to do it. It’s not perforated or sectioned off, so you’ll need to grab a knife (because unless you’re Chuck Norris you’re not going to pull this apart with your hands) and slice it up, which creates a whirlwind of chocolate flakes and a cracked exterior.
None of this really matters as much as the other glaring problem, though, which is the ratio. This thing is absolutely overwhelmed by chocolate. The peanut butter is there in the middle, but only makes up about 30% of the flavor profile. At the end of the day, this thing is a gigantic chocolate heart with some peanut butter in the middle. Get it for the novelty if you must.
48. 6-ounce Egg
The 6-ounce Egg has more or less the same design and construction of a Miniature Egg, but is about 10 times the size. The thin-on-the-top-thick-on-the-bottom setup works extremely well in the small ones, but when you blow it up this big it fails. The bottom layer is insanely thick, and since you’re not biting straight into it, it’s just too much. You can try to eat this whole thing, but that’s gonna be the end of your week.
47. 5-ounce Hearts
The 5 ounce-ers are much more manageable than the 8 ounce-ers, that’s for sure. The ratio is a lot better too, with a much bigger portion of peanut butter: In fact they almost seemed to have used the exact same amount for both sizes, which goes to show how hard the 8 ounce is skimping. The issue, unfortunately, is that this is still way too big of a portion for any reasonable person. You may be able to finish this on your own, but you’re not going to be happy about it later.
46. 5-ounce Reester Bunny
The 5-ounce Reester Bunny is very similar to the 5-ounce Heart, but it has a couple of advantages going for it. For starters, Reese has given us the gift of an actual specific character. If I’m not mistaken, this the only actual mascot-type character in the Reese’s world. He’s different than the gigantic non-descript Peanut Butter Bunny, and despite his serial killer smile, I’m on board with this guy. Secondly, the PB consistency is a lot more normal. Lastly, you get to decapitate somebody when you section it off, which is always going to be a good time, kind of like the feeling you used to get when you bit off a Gummy Bear’s head. Shit… now that I think about it, maybe I’m the serial killer.
45. Dark Miniature Cups
Here’s something I expected to love. I love dark chocolate. I love Reese’s Miniatures. However, this dark chocolate is a snoozefest. It’s very boring. The dark chocolate just doesn’t work the way milk chocolate does to create the magical alchemy demanded by Reese's finest.
44. Dark Peanut Butter Cups
More dark chocolate helps a bit, but it still can’t help the dark stuff rise to the top. The chocolate itself seems to ride a weird supernatural line between being boring yet far too rich. How did they achieve that? Even as I’m writing it, it doesn’t make sense.
This one’s for the chocolate lovers. Bells sort of taste like a Miniature Cup that had a bunch more chocolate packed around it to form the shape of a bell. As a result, we’re dealing with a chocolate overload and not nearly enough peanut butter.
42. Mini Cups
These are good. They’re fine. Once again, they’re just your standard Reese’s Cups, but super tiny. Truly bite size. This means that A) each one has a lot less flavor because of its tiny little size, and B) the likelihood of overeating is a lot higher. If you’re in the mood for a Reese’s Cup, there’s pretty much no reason to reach for these.
41. Eggs Stuffed With Pieces
This product is all over the map. We’ve got the usual thin layer of chocolate surrounding peanut butter as with the Trees and Hearts, but for some reason the Pieces inside are very unevenly spread out. I opened up three different Eggs and in each one, the Pieces seemed to be all shoved to one side. If this is on purpose, I really don’t get it. This would be like if somebody made you a burrito but decided to put all the salsa at the very bottom. It just doesn’t work.
40. Trees Stuffed With Pieces
In theory, these should have been stone cold killers. The trees are working with a heavy peanut-butter-to-chocolate ratio, so the idea of some Pieces to crunch danced through my head like sugarplums. Unfortunately, despite a fairly sizable tree, the Pieces aren’t even whole themselves. Each one is broken into about three or four smaller bits, so the crunch is hard to come by. Every bite or so, you’ll feel a small crunch in the back of your mouth, but it’s hardly satisfying. This wasn’t just a one Tree issue; this happened in every single Tree I tasted. Why not use full, unbroken Pieces, Reese?
39. Crispy Crunchy Bar
It’s basically like what a Butterfingers would taste like if somebody made it wrong.
38. Nutrageous Bar
The Nutrageous seems to be Reese’s version of a Snickers. Instead of nougat though, we’ve got the Reese’s peanut butter center. If that sounds good to you, it’s because it is good. It’s important to keep in mind with this ranking that just because something is ranked low, that doesn’t make it a bad product. We’re dealing with Reese’s here, and most of this stuff is excellent. But only a few things can rank supreme. Snickers has some VERY big shoes to fill. If you want something like a Snickers, just, you know, get a Snickers.
If you’re the person who say Reese’s has too much chocolate, look no further than Trees. They’re quite long, and the chocolate is found in a very thin layer that coats the outside of the tree-shaped log. Peanut butter is the unabashed star of this product. I myself like a ratio that’s a bit closer to being equal, so while Trees are definitely good, they are very middle of the road and thus, find themselves near the middle of this ranking.
36. Dark Chocolate Thins
Another addition to the (seemingly unending) line of Reese's confections, the Thin has landed. I’m not sure if the branding is going for some sort of “healthier choice” attempt, but the only difference between this and a Classic Cup is the size and shape -- no artificial sweeteners here. Both types of Thins are solid, though I’m not sure that they bring anything new to the table besides portion control. The smaller cup reduces the amount of peanut butter you’re getting, and in this dark chocolate situation, it doesn’t help. You really want the saltiness from the peanut butter to cut through the richness of the dark chocolate, but since the Thins are so small and contain mostly chocolate, you lose a bit of the balance that makes a Reese’s Cup so good.
35. Hearts (Slender)
There are two different kinds of full size Hearts -- one squat, one slender -- that are hard to differentiate, since they're similarly packaged. But pay attention, because there are HUGE differences. The taller, more slender Hearts are essentially the same thing as Trees when it comes down to the ratio: Lots of peanut butter and a thin layer of chocolate on the outside. However, they have a slight edge on the Trees because of the shape. Free of the jagged shape that the Trees come in, it’s a lot easier to get a normal bite out of these guys. A minor difference, but a crucial one.
There is nothing wrong with the regular-sized Reese’s Eggs. If you have a craving for a Reese’s product, this will certainly do the trick. It outranks the Trees because of its much more manageable shape, and it outranks the Hearts for a closer-to-equal ratio. Other than that, it’s about as plain and standard as it gets.
33. Snack Size Hearts
The Snack Size Hearts are roughly half the size of a fat Heart, and about the same size as a Miniature Cup, but shaped differently and loaded with lots of peanut butter in a similar ratio to Trees and the slender Hearts. They get the edge above the full sizers because of the one-bite factor. As you’ll see, I’m a big fan of a one-bite Reese’s.
32. Fast Break Bar
Aaaaaaaand here’s Reese’s version of a Milky Way. It’s pretty good. I can see myself choosing this over a Milky Way too, because the peanut butter works very well, and also because Milky Ways are pretty not great.
31. Outrageous Bar
It’s almost like Reese knew his Nutrageous bar was missing something, because he decided to throw full-size Pieces on that sonuvabitch and the whole thing cruised to new levels. This is a fine candy bar right here.
30. Popped Snack Mix
Yet again, here’s Reese fixing his past mistakes with the addition of one more crucial ingredient. Chocolate-drizzled popcorn and candy-covered peanuts found their way into the mix of Mini Cups, Pieces, and pretzels. The mix is pure fire. The chocolate, popcorn, and peanut butter flavors combine flawlessly to give a sort of Poppycock-style taste. A great snack.
29. Reester Bunnies
The Reester Bunny makes his return with a line of smaller, much more appropriately portioned candies. These are mostly pretty solid, but definitely favor the chocolate. The peanut butter inside is a bit creamier in general (like the Miniature Hearts), but it gets lost in the massive amount of chocolate.
28. Hearts Stuffed With Pieces
Unlike the Trees, the Hearts are actually stuffed with full, unbroken segments of Pieces, and thus provide the crunch you’re looking for. Other than that, they’re rocking a similar chocolate-to-peanut butter ratio and have the added benefit of straighter edges, rather than the jagged edges of the trees.
27. 5-ounce Bunny
Gang, there is some serious dark magic going down inside the 5-ounce Bunny, which is apparently a separate bunny that isn’t to be confused with the Reester Bunny. When I picked up my knife to saw into this thing, something incredible began to unfold before my startled imagination: inside of this bunny lies not the typical layering of PB and chocolate, but rather a full-on chocolate and peanut butter swirl. It’s almost like looking into a Hostess Ho-Ho. The swirling mixture inside breathes new life into Reese’s in a way I haven’t seen yet in any of my 60+ different candies I’ve tried. The swirl creates a what’s-what flavor profile that really highlights the beautiful combination that is milk chocolate and peanut butter.
While the 5-ounce Heart was penalized for its overwhelming size, the ingenuity of the swirl made me want to section the Bunny off and eat it over the course of a week. Reese, I have no doubt you’re reading this, and I highly recommend you try swirling the inside of a classic Peanut Butter cup or a Miniature. What we have on our hands is a potential game-changer for the Reese’s line. And I would like 10% of the profits, please.
26. Big Cups
You already know what this tastes like, even if you’ve never had it. It’s a gigantic cup. I personally think it’s a little too big. The richness takes away from what makes Reese’s so great in the first place. Look, the Big Cup is a good piece of candy, but as far as the lineup of Reese’s is concerned, it’s very middle-of-the-road.
25. Peanut Butter Cups Stuffed with Pieces
A great idea all around, and a wonderful use for Pieces. The chocolate from the cups makes the Pieces better, and the crunch from the Pieces give a nice edge to the cup. Synergy. Harmony. Peace, love, and hope.
24. Peanut Butter Cup Stuffed with Crunchy Cookies
Don’t ever call Reese a quitter. The peanut butter cup stuffed with Pieces was working, so why did he continue to work it out? Why did he continue to improve it? Because that’s who Reese is. The addition of the “Crunchy Cookie” bits is a grand slam: The chocolate crunchies are big and play beautifully off the peanut butter center. Bless up.
23. Big Cups Stuffed with Pieces
A solid improvement over the Big Cup. This guy has a bunch of Pieces stuffed inside, so the nice crunch breaks up from the extreme richness of the giant bite. However, we’re still dealing with a big overload of peanut butter and not enough chocolate.
22. Sugar Free Miniature Cups
I can’t believe how high these guys ranked. Let me begin by saying that I am a STAUNCH opponent of artificial sugar, and the taste that goes with it. However, there are no aspartame-y or Stevia-y flavors anywhere to be found. Believe it or not, these are virtually indistinguishable from the regular Miniature Cups. So, why do they rank #12?
It’s because they use Maltitol, the infamous artificial sugar responsible for the Sugar Free Haribo disasters. Eat these at your own risk.
21. Miniature Cups Stuffed with Crunchy Cookies
You will learn as we move forward that I am quite fond of the Miniature Cups. Naturally, I’m gonna like it when Reese shoves some stuff inside of ’em. Why, then, do I rank the Crunchy Cookie lower than the Pieces here, when in other cases I rank it higher? The Miniatures simply don’t have enough of the Crunchy Cookie in them. The eponymous crunch is lost.
20. Miniature Cups Stuffed with Pieces
In this case, the Pieces provide that crunch I’m looking for. Nice work.
We’re about to enter the territory of three products that are basically exactly the same, in different shapes. I tried thinking about this in a ton of different ways; taste, peanut butter-to-chocolate ratio, how much chocolate gets left on your fingers. I came up with no differences. These simply are the exact same thing. Therefore I’m going to rank them based on their shape alone.
Eyeballs are dumb. The bag says “SPOOKY” on them. They’re not spooky. They’re not even really a Halloween thing. Eyeballs? Why not, like, a witch’s hat? Or a broomstick? Or a bat? Or a God damn Skellington? Big whiff on these Eyeballs, Reese. Also, these are delicious.
18. Monster Mania
We’re getting there. These are shaped like mummies and skulls and things like that. There are little faces carved into them, barely even visible, but there nonetheless. This means -- as Mitch Hedberg once pointed out about Kit Kats -- that we are getting robbed of chocolate. Don’t think I don’t notice that, Reese. Don’t even think.
17. Milk Chocolate Thins
Because you’re losing the overload of richness that comes in a Dark Chocolate Thin, the Milk Chocolate is a lot more manageable. It’s actually more similar to a chocolate candy with a hint of peanut butter, and it works very well. One thing to note about the Thins is that they are much more disc-like, and the upper-pointy-crown bit of the Cup doesn’t really exist on these. I’ve heard some people don’t like the spikes on top of a Reese’s, so if you’re one of those people, this could be a Top 10 candy for you. Unfortunately, I’m not one of those people.
This right here is what I think of when I think about Halloween candy. A thousand shoutouts for dominating the holiday the way Reese’s does. These bad boys are iconic. They’re the October treat we all look forward to, the one we all deserve, the one we wait all year for... and the ultimate king of all Halloween Reese’s products.
15. Big Cups Stuffed with Crunchy Cookie
Wondering if I forgot about the Big Cup Stuffed with Crunchy Cookie? Wrongo! This guy is just outstanding. I’m a big fan of a crunchy element thrown into Reese’s, and here in the Big Cups they’ve given me the biggest pieces of Crunchy Cookie yet.
14. Chocolate Lovers Peanut Butter Cups
Two of the newest products on the Reese’s line are the Chocolate Lovers and Peanut Butter Lovers editions of the classic Cups, each choosing to purposely change up the ratio and give more to whatever side you may prefer. The Chocolate Lovers surprisingly doesn’t feel like it favors chocolate that much, and honestly feels pretty similar to a regular Cup. This of course isn’t a bad thing, but if you’re looking for some much heavier chocolate, you may not be completely satisfied with one of these.
I didn’t expect much from the Clusters. Pecans aren’t quite my jam, but nevertheless I put my biases aside for the sake of this very important research -- and I was rewarded. Clusters are a freaking knockout. The way the caramel stretches out after you take a bite brings about the fond memories of a Twix bar, or perhaps a Milky Way if you’re the one person on Earth who has fond memories of a Milky Way. The pecans are a non-issue, too. They only add to the pleasant crunching experience. A slightly-more-PB-than-chocolate ratio rounds the whole thing out, and my friends, we have ourselves a hit. Exponentially better when cold, too.
12. Dipped Pretzels
I think I’ve made it clear by now how much a crunchy element works in a Reese’s product. Well, here to answer your crunchy prayers and elevate the salty/sweet thing to new heights is Reese’s Dipped Pretzels. Holy hell, these things are good. They’re made with Snyder’s, too.
11. Peanut Butter Lovers Peanut Butter Cups
There’s a sneaky little trick going on inside the Peanut Butter Lovers Cup. Yes, the middle is full of peanut butter and only the outside ring is chocolate, but it’s the top of the Cup that has me completely smitten. It’s almost like a peanut buttery fudge situation. It looks just like (and has the same consistency of) the top of a regular Cup, but the color is a beautiful caramel-beige and the flavor is somewhere between peanut butter and chocolate. It’s superb. Go buy one of these things right away.
10. Peanut Butter Crème Eggs
An obvious nod to Reese's across-the-pond cousin the Cadbury Crème Egg the Peanut Butter Crème Egg is very tasty. The peanut butter inside, despite being referred to as “Crème”, is actually very close to the consistency of real, store-bought peanut butter. If you crack one of these sonsabitches open, you can legitimately scoop some out with your finger, which I consider to be one of the great joys of real peanut butter. Another wonderful thing the Crème Eggs have going is that one is legitimately enough to satisfy you. In a world of 1lb Bunnies and 8oz Hearts, it’s a breath of fresh air to have a normal, human being-sized portion.
9. Hershey’s Bar With Reese’s Pieces
I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong by ranking this miracle snack so highly. It’s clearly a collaboration with Hershey, so half of the credit is most certainly due in that direction. Technically speaking though, Reese’s is a product of the Hershey company, so I don’t see anything too wrong with this. Synergy!
That said, this is a phenomenal candy bar. My gripes with Pieces have always been that there isn’t any chocolate to accompany them. If you agree that this is a problem, please direct your attention to this very product. The Pieces in the bar are fully formed and unbroken, which is more than I can say for half of the products that say “Stuffed With Pieces.” This thing is almost like a Crunch or Krackel bar, except that with each crunch you get the flavor of a little bit of peanut butter. This thing is money.
Reese’s version of a Kit Kat. This shit is flawless.
7. Mini Sticks
BUT THE MINI STICKS ARE EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW! The one bite thing really saves chocolate from getting on your fingers. Snack on a few. Snack on a lot. I don’t care. It’s your world. We just live in it.
6. Hearts (Squat)
There’s something very interesting going on here. Unlike the longer, thinner style of Hearts, the short and squat ones feel almost like a different candy altogether. In general, a Reese’s candy consists of a more-or-less solid peanut butter filling coated in milk chocolate. The chocolate in the fat Hearts, however, feels less like a coating, and more like a candy shell. The peanut butter on the inside is different too -- it actually seems to be closer to, well, actual peanut butter. Squeeze the top and bottom together and it actually seeps out a bit. It’s incredible. There’s some undeniable ooeygooey-ness going on inside these Hearts, and when you combine the crunchier chocolate shell with the creamier peanut butter inside, it’s like you’re eating the type of luxury candy you’d find at a place like See’s. These guys just skyrocketed towards the top of this ranking.
5. Take 5
Crunchy, yet chewy! Salty, yet sweet! Sticky, yet crumbly! While these are all ways I could describe myself, I am in this case referring to the majesty that is the Take 5 bar. Though Take 5 has always been low-key slinging Reese’s chocolate and peanut butter (they’re both Hershey products), they have officially rebranded themselves with the beautiful orange color scheme we’ve come to know and love. If you’re unfamiliar with the Take 5, five glorious heroes have gathered together, Avengers-style, to create the ultimate superhero team/candy bar: peanuts, pretzels, caramel, peanut butter, and chocolate. Take 5 is a monster, and Reese -- the Nick Fury of candy -- has clearly helped it reach its potential.
4. Peanut Butter Cups
No doubt the first thing you think of when you hear the Reese’s name. A classic titan of the candy world that has fully stood the test of time. There’s nothing wrong with this candy. Not a thing. The perfect ratio of chocolate and peanut butter. A masterpiece of the salty/sweet world. A flavor that takes you back to a time and a place. Maybe it was after little league, or maybe it was after school, or maybe it was even DURING school, if you were a super-fly badass. So why number 3, you ask?
3. Big Cups with Pretzels
2020 has been, shall we say… tricky, but the bombshell arrival of a new Reese’s product has been one of the only rays of light all year. If you’ve clung to every highly opinionated word I’ve written here, you know that adding a crunch factor has been huge in the new line of Peanut Butter Cups that Reese’s has released over the past few years.
How then, does a brand new product defeat the very thing I just heaped so much praise upon? Behold, the ultimate leader in Cup crunchiness: the Cup with pretzels stuck inside. The pretzel pieces are sizable, crunchy, and salty. Reese has done here what he’s been unable to do in his Cups stuffed Pieces and Cookies -- this is the ultimate Peanut Butter Cup. It’s everything the other Cups wanted to be.
But if classic Cups are so perfect, and this is a better version, why not number one, you ask?
2. Miniature Cups
Because Miniatures are the perfect size. That’s why. Pop one in your mouth for the exact serving you require. No chocolate on your fingers. No need to put a half bitten Cup down. Everything about the Miniature Cup is flawless. The way the gold foil unwraps easily. The way as soon as you open it, BAM, there it is, just sitting there, like a brand-new Apple product. The little Bart Simpson-headed morsel of chocolate and peanut butter just waiting to explode onto your tastebuds.
Remember how bananas the commercials for Reese’s Puffs were? Where the kid would take a bite and then say, “And my mouth was like WOOAAAAAAHHH” and he would be poorly green-screened in front of flowing chocolate and peanut butter rivers? That’s what eating a Reese’s Miniature is. You are transported to the rivers of flavor of Reese’s design. The one he planned when he sat down in his lab and put together the Miniature Cup. They are a true stroke of genius.
1. Miniature Eggs
Full disclosure: when I began this journey through the Reese’s catalog, I had never actually tasted one of the Miniature Eggs. Sure, I had heard people talk about them with nothing short of glowing reviews, but I kind of always wrote them off. I assumed these people were raving so hard because they had some sort of childhood Easter nostalgia attached to them.
I did not expect the flavor experience that unfolded before me. The actual physical construction of these things are a complete stroke of genius: the top layer of chocolate is quite thin, but the bottom is very thick. Because of this, when you bite into one, you get different consistencies on your top and bottom teeth. It’s an extremely pleasant feeling as your top teeth slice through easily and your bottom teeth face more resistance. The peanut butter in between is perfectly portioned, and now I finally understand why so many people say that the mini Egg has the perfect ratio. It’s going to be hard to go back once the Easter season is done. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect the classic Miniature Cup to be dethroned, but they say that if you come for the king, you best not miss.
Well, mini Eggs did indeed come for the king. And they went for the head.
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