If you had to pick one perfect food to fatten up on repeatedly, lobster rolls would have to come in somewhere near the top, with that buttery roll complementing the buttery (in a different sense) lobster in the kind of perfect harmony that says "you should totally eat 15 of me." But Maine's charms definitely extend beyond lobster -- Portland's status as a rising dining city isn't quite making anyone forget about the other Portland, but it's undoubtedly carving out an indulgent reputation all its own. Also, blueberries in and of themselves are a magnificently healthy superfood, but that can all be quickly undone if you consume them in pie form.
It may be lacking the cache and the coastline of many of its fellow Southern states, but that doesn't mean Arkansas can't bring plenty of heat in the smoked/fried/smothered department. There's a reason Clinton looked like he did when he entered the White House, right?
Colorado, what to do with you? There's excellent eating in Denver and Boulder. The thriving beer culture is second to none. The statewide love of burritos is well documented in the land that gave the world Chipotle. The path to legal weed was blazed (!) here. And yet… Colorado always seems to rank as the fittest state in the union. Seems like way too many people are pairing that burrito with a 15-mile hike, or a triathlon, or something else that makes those of us who would rather just pair it with a second burrito feel bad. It's cool, Colorado, let yourself go a little, would ya?
To best experience the bourbon that made the state famous you should really have it neat, which sounds dangerously like a calorie-cutting measure, but definitely consider the fact that bourbon makes its way into just about every possible dessert on the planet around these parts. Ever had a bourbon ball? It's like doing a shot AND having dessert at the same time, so try having 12! There's some debate over whether or not bourbon actually belongs in a Derby Pie, but there's no debating that the end result kinda resembles just a big-ass, gooey chocolate chip cookie in pie form. And look, it's not like everyone in Kentucky is sitting around plowing through Hot Browns all the time, but nonetheless, when your state's signature dish involves both bacon and a generous helping of cheese sauce (and has since well-before either practice became trendy) it sets a fine precedent for the state's fatness future.
You can undoubtedly have a grand, fat time in Massachusetts, but you'll always have the nagging feeling things could be just a little bit better, almost as if the state's Puritan forefathers are still judging you from beyond the grave (and these are the people who supposedly started Thanksgiving!). But hey, the chowder is creamy, the seafood-shack game is generally on point, and the cannoli at Mike's Pastry are best consumed by the dozen. There's a lot to like here, even if you're just a simple man who's most at home buying a 25-piece Munchkins without sharing them and washing 'em down with a large Caramel Coffee Coolatta (which is more people than you think!).
21. South Carolina
So the barbecue is obviously fantastic, though some quibble with mustard in their BBQ sauce (mustard has like no calories -- can't you take a lesson from Alabama?!). But for real, there's a reason Lowcountry cuisine is being peddled on menus across the country these days -- these folks know how to eat. Go to Charleston and see how many different versions of shrimp and grits you can consume before you're ready to call it a day, then wake up and have some more for breakfast.