Step 6: You know that saying about marathons & sprints? This is the latter.
With a cautious eye towards sugar-high crashes, sluggish waitstaff, and heinous bottom-shelf liquors, the author of this guide to tableside heroism advises against "bottomless" brunches, though he acknowledges that they can be fantastic from time to time. Whether you choose to take your brunch booze a la carte or by the barrel, though, some rules apply.
Psych! That was a test! You're already wearing clothes; there are no other rules. Get after that booze like a hungry man on a ham, which, depending on your food order, you may very well be. Dance with high-ABV craft brews for a drinkability-to-price ratio that can't be beat, or select an intricate classic cocktail like the Old Fashioned to throw your stomach -- and the bartender, who now hates you -- a curveball. Ignore his darting eyes of fury, you! This is your time to shine like the champion hero you wish to be. Order a rosé just for the hell of it, should the mood strike.
Remember, this isn't day drinking, and you're not trying to conserve sobriety/energy -- go nuts. Think of brunch drinking like that scene from Gattaca: the man who wins is the one willing to lose. Well, and drown, but don't drown. Just win.
(Underrated movie, by the way. Watch it after brunch.)