The ranch hands
“A delightful table table asked for extra, extra ranch with their wings, and when I charged them 25 cents for each additional extra they asked for after three, they melted down and wanted to speak to a manager. Because an additional 75 cents for six sides of ranch for 10 wings was just too much for the group to handle.” -- Brittany
Author's note: OK, I know Americans love to abuse ranch in the worst ways possible, but what were they doing with all this ranch? Were they stockpiling it in case of the apocalypse in the belief it would be the currency of the future? Were they building the world’s grossest outdoor pool? Were they just average people from St. Louis? I have many questions.
Truly bottomless cup
“My parents’ coffee place, Mocha Mott’s, has a policy where refills are a buck as long as it’s a Mott’s refill ($1.25 in non-Mott’s cups). It’s a great deal considering the quality of our coffee. A Mott’s cup is one of our plastic, metal, or ceramic mugs or a paper cup from a previous purchase. It’s to promote environmentalism. No other reason.
Our paper cups are within reach for our customers. People would bring in nasty ratchet paper cups from days/weeks ago for the refill price. On SO MANY OCCASIONS, people brought these nasty-ass cups in and asked me to refill them. The number of times I was filling these literally disintegrating cups, burning my hand, only to turn around and see that someone was leaning over the counter to grab a fresh cup because they thought I wasn’t looking… just absurd. Usually they’d apologize and give some excuse like “oh I didn’t know!” (bullshit, you think buying a coffee here once entitles you to a lifetime discount?).
But this one dude starts arguing with me.
Him: “The cup is literally falling apart. What am I supposed to do?!”
Me: “Pay full price for a new coffee and start over? Or buy one of our reusable mugs?”
Him: “That’s not fair. I only came here for the deal!”
Me: “Well, there are other places down the street.”
He’s still holding his falling-apart cup at this point. He looks me dead in the eyes, dumps the coffee on the floor, throws the cup in the trash, and storms out. So because I refused to give this dude discounts for life for the noble deed of once purchasing a coffee at full price, I got a lovely mess to clean up.” -- Casey
Author's note: If there’s one thing experience has taught me, it’s that hospitality customers will never be cheaper than coffee-place customers incensed they might have to fork over a dollar they don’t feel they should be required to.