That deep dish refuses to get into the slice game is baffling to me -- those pieces are so filling, a restaurant could make bank on them. The whole practice is very anti-pizza.
It should double as a snack
The fact of the matter is, deep dish is just too much -- too much cheese, too much crust, too much sauce, too much everything. Even the toppings are extreme, literal sheets of sausage and pepperoni stacked like scalloped shingles on a roof. Eating it feels like slogging through dense, cheesy quicksand -- tasty quicksand, but quicksand all the same. It's basically Ambien in food form.
The pie at Giordano's, for example, was loaded with more cheese than the Wisconsin State Fair. It seeped out from inside the pie, spreading onto the plate like The Blob. It tasted like regret. It was, without a doubt, the least pizza-like of the three.