"I kinda see it like, if you're used to grabbing fast-food cheeseburgers on the go, obviously going for something like the Minetta Tavern Burger, like some giant hunk of meat, is a completely different experience," he said. "It does very different things to you. But they're both still burgers."
"But, the thing about the big, thick steak burger is that there's a huge quality difference," I countered. "The big one is trying to show off the beef -- it's bigger because the meat is better, ostensibly, and there's more care going into how it's made. Obviously there's more ingredients in deep dish, but I wouldn't say the quality is that different."
"Right, it's not like a high-end, artisanal pursuit. It's about volume," he conceded. "Maybe that's where the analogy breaks down." You said it, not me.
So, after copious research, several grown-up pizza parties, and an additional 4 to 5lbs, I've come to the conclusion that deep dish is not, in fact, pizza. But you know what? I like it. I'm here for it. A spade is a spade and this is no spade, but it tastes damn good. And, at the end of the day, that's all that really matters.