The problem: You're in a huge rush to drink at a busy spot
The hack: Always order a beer back, especially at bottomless brunch.
If you're planning on slamming your first drink anyway because your frattiness is unmitigated, help your waiter, bartender, and yourself by ordering two drinks at once. The wisdom of a shot and a beer is mythic and unassailable and must always be trusted, but this move is especially smooth if applied at a table where everyone but you is doing bottomless brunch. You're so smart!
The problem: You're daunted by the prices, but pasta is never too expensive, right?
The hack: Unless this is a serious Italian spot, go with chicken or pork.
Most of the time, chicken or pork will be priced similarly to everyone's favorite carb, but pasta from a non-Ital joint is, well... just pasta. You're more likely to get a better value and understanding of the chef's abilities by ordering chicken or pork. Obviously, order what you want -- but if you're smart and attractive and going to make it in life, you will be eating delicious chef-prepared pork chops by the time you finish reading this story.