If there's one thing I've learned from countless failed relationships, it's that telling someone to "just relax" when they are pissed off is a recipe for disaster. But it must be said, because another recipe for disaster -- quite literally -- is the very subject currently spleening the Internetting public, so very hard.
And **ahem** everyone should just relax.
Yes, Costco is removing their (really bad tasting) Polish hot dog from their food courts, imminently.
And people are mad. Like, very, very, unreasonably, spittle-shooting mad. It's as if the United Nations passed a statute that decreed all future t-shirts must bear the emblem "Me So Horny" across the chest. It's like the Internet has just all stepped on a collective pile of Legos whilst barefoot. You would think someone's poor sweet Granny just got bushed into a swimming pool with her iPhone in her pocket.
But no, you should not care.
Costco's food court is a distinct, beloved, earnest slice of discount, faster-than-fast food. It's basically like upscale microwave food. Like a latchkey kid somehow got hold of industrial kitchen equipment. I would know, I spent two hours inside the hallowed walls of a Harlem Costco tasting and ranking every item they graciously sell to bulk shoppers that are famished from lugging around industrial-sized crates of Capri Sun.
But the Polish hot dog is and always has been the one, egregious, wrinkly stain on an otherwise perfect (I mean, for a discount bulk store food court…) menu. To quote myself, which I swear I don't often do: