"'911, how can I help you?'
"'This is the Starbucks at 58th and 8th. Can you please send someone now? This guy is running around our store completely naked!' (He then runs out the store into the street.)
"'He just left the store, but he's running outside by Columbus Circle completely naked!'
"'Can you provide a description?'
"'Can you give us any other descriptors?'
"(In my head -- HOW MANY NAKED MEN ARE RUNNING AROUND BY COLUMBUS CIRCLE RIGHT NOW?)
"'Black male, 6ft tall, dreadlocks, no clothes.'
"'We'll send someone right over.'
"Twenty minutes or so later, still no police, but BD and his dong have not come back. Things have started to return to normal.
"Then he runs back in, still naked. He's sweaty and out of breath from his afternoon jog in the park, but he has not found any clothing during his time outside. He begins running around the store again, with me again screaming for him to GTFO. I call 911 again and scream that the naked guy who I am now calling about for the third time in the last hour is back. They promise to send someone right over.