4. John Howie's Ultimate Bloody Mary
Approximate Calorie Count: 908. It's all in the celery.
"A DRINK?! How am I supposed to get fat from that??" "Well, aspiring-to-be-portly reader, drinks can actually be quite excessive in the fatness department, especially when they include tempura-fried bacon, a Wagyu slider, pickled everything (carrots, onions, green beans... asparagus), deep-fried jalapenos, fried mozzarella, your choice of 32 hot sauces, peppers, a PEPPERONI STRAW, and celery (for fatness, obviously), in addition to the usual Bloody ingredients." "Thrillist, you're perfect for me." "Why yes, yes we are."
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