2. The Cinco Burger
TAG Burger Bar, Denver
Approximate Calorie Count: 2001
OK, kids -- I hope you brushed up on your Spanish, because if you did, you'll be able to figure out how many patties are on this gargantuan burger... Spoiler Alert: It's FIVE. In order of assembly, they are: bison, turkey, lamb, veggie, and beef. But that's not all it has to offer! This towering monument to the American appetite is topped off with cheddar cheese, grilled onions, bacon, secret sauce, and Ruffles potato chips. Muy, muy guapo.
See how it's all assembled right here...